Caelan and Siahn

2010-05-26T10:09:00.001+12:00

2010-05-18T18:34:00.001+12:00

2010-05-18T18:26:00.001+12:00

2010-05-06T09:30:00.001+12:00

2010-04-12T16:44:00.001+12:00

They're nearly 4 and 2!!

2010-03-18T17:33:00.004+13:00

2010-03-17T17:35:00.001+13:00

Happy birthday dear Grandad

2010-01-03T14:08:00.003+13:00

Photos

2009-12-21T14:02:00.002+13:00

Caelan's video message from Santa

2009-12-15T15:57:00.002+13:00

Click here to watch Caelan's video from Santa - so cute and he absolutely LOVED it!

You shouldn't say that word

2009-12-09T08:06:00.002+13:00

Diarrhea and blood, lots of it

2009-12-08T21:06:00.003+13:00

It's been a looooong time since I posted properly. What's been going down? Well Caelan and Siahn have been overseas for a holiday now. We all went to Australia and they loved it, though the beginning was not so fun. A few days before we left Caelan started vomiting and unfortunately it wasn't over with by the time we left. They were both pretty sick on the flight over, Siahn slept most of the way, combined with explosive issues of the diarrhea variety, and Caelan didn't want to eat and was sad and quiet. It was pretty sad because we really wanted them to enjoy their first plane trip. We caught a couple of trains to our hotel and within an hour of checking in Caelan had vomited three times in our room and Siahn had had yet another MAJOR diarrhea explosion. Chris and I were scrubbing the bed and carpet by the bed, the carpet outside the bathroom and the tiles and walls in the bathroom. Yes, and walls. I don't know how such a little boy managed to get so much coverage. Needless to say, we were moved into another room. We caught LOTS of trains which was exciting at first and then just plain painful with two sick kids. They were better after the first few days and all was good from then on. Siahn had her first leech experience, we'd put her to bed for a day sleep at my fathers place, after three hours Chris said he was going to check if she was still alive (jokingly of course!). He went in and saw a black slimy thing wrapped around her ankle and just about shat himself. He instantly thought a black snake had gotten in. When he picked her up, the snake came too, he then saw that the "snake" was a leech. VERY fat and full after so long feeding on our wee girl. We got it off and she bleed for hours, literally hours. Bloody leech. It was such a lovely holiday and the kids were great. Though it was SOOOOO great to get home and have our kids in their own room AWAY from us. hehe Two weeks with us and the kids in the same room was too much thanks. They didn't sleep as well, which of course meant we didn't. But it was awesome and they were awesome and had a lovely time. Yay!

Siahn's bloody leech bite got infected a couple of weeks after we got home. Weird that it took so long but it did. Dr gave us some magic cream and it finally got better, she still has a wee scar but I'm sure it'll go. Caelan started at Clevedon Kindy when we got back and loves it. Drop offs are so much better now, which makes me a happy Mama. Another major was - we cut Caelan's hair off. He'd been getting upset about people always thinking he was a girl and the kids always calling him a girl. He really wanted short hair "like a mans" so I subconsciously did it. hehe I was trimming his hair and one the phone at the same time, my subconscious took over and cut and cut while I wasn't paying attention. Opsy. He loves it. He now has a mohawk and looks awesome and super duper cool. Though I miss his long hair and soft cool 70s surfer dude look. I also loved how he was different, he wasn't just like all the other boys with short hair. But he loves his short hair, that's all that matters.

We've had a bad couple of days, it started two nights ago with Caelan screaming in the middle of the night with a major fever. He's been crying a lot and has bad crazy temperatures, not quite getting to 40 but just under. We had him in his undies and wiping him down with a cold flannel to bring it down. Yesterday I was cuddling a crying, hot, naked boy on the couch, wiping him down to cool him down and Siahn was playing in the bucket we'd bought in for Caelan to vomit in. He hadn't used it yet though ok?! hehe Then bang, the bucket tipped over and Siahn, who'd been standing in it fell against the coffee table, connecting with her mouth. Lots of blood and screaming, so much blood, it was really scary and she wouldn't stop crying for ages. Took them both to the doctor and Caelan has a stomach bug, which we knew based on the diarrhea and temps. Siahn may need stitches in her lip, her teeth went right through her lip. My poor wee girlie. She has a massive cut on the inside and a small hole on the outside where one tooth must have come out. She couldn't eat dinner last night cause it was so sore and swollen and started bleeding again when she tried. So I went out for iceblocks, they had an iceblock each for dinner. Today her lip was very purple and swollen and sore. Whenever she eats she cries and says "Lip" when she's crying. Towards the end of the day it was obviously feeling better. So tomorrow morning we'll find out if she needs stitches if it wasn't binding on it's own - I'm no doctor but I think it looks like it's doing good. We'll see. Oh and Caelan will be having a whole lot of tests done for his stomach. He's always got a sore stomach, sometimes worse than others, when he says his stomach is sore and I ask him if he thinks he's going to spew or if it's a different sore, he replies with "No, it's just my normal sore stomach". And he's always got diarrhea, sometimes worse, but always diarrhea and Siahn's the same. That's not fair. I've suffered my whole life with stomach issues and pain - I dont want my kids to go through that so we're gonna find out what's going on. I'm gonna wait till he's feeling better because all of these tests wont be fun while he's sick. Poor little boy has had many many diarrhea accidents with this horrible stomach bug - I hope he's better tomorrow cause it's his Kindy Christmas Party tomorrow and it would be so sad if he misses it. Here's hoping he has a better night sleep tonight and wakes up feeling much better.

I'll post some pics in the next few days.

Ice cream time in the hammock

2009-11-30T19:13:00.002+13:00

Siahn swinging

2009-11-23T10:22:00.002+13:00

Caelan is going to marry me and Siahn will marry Daddy...

2009-09-22T11:10:00.003+12:00

... and we will all live together for ever. Well that's what Caelan said is going to happen anyway. We were hanging out in the lounge one evening a week or so ago and he says to me "Mama, what does marry mean?". I explain that it is what a man and lady do sometimes when they love each other and know they want to spend their whole life together - they get married. I pointed to our wedding photos and explained that is when Daddy and I got married because we knew we always wanted to be together and that we love each and want to have a family together. I said to him when you're an adult you might meet a girl that you love and want to be with forever and you might marry her and you will live with her and maybe have kids too. He responded with "No, I don't want to marry her, I don't want to marry anyone else. I want to marry you Mama and we will always live together because I love you". This is when Chris says "But what about me? I'm married to Mama", Caelan says "You can marry Siahn and we will all live together forever". God he's gorgeous :)

Caelan now doesn't have training wheels on his bike. The day we took them off and I watched him riding so well without them I nearly cried. I was hugging him and telling him how awesome he was with eyes full of tears, he looked at me with his beaming face and looked a little concerned. I explained that I was just really, really, really happy and proud of him and that's why I'm nearly crying. hehe It's amazing to watch him being such a big boy and doing so well. He feels so proud too. When he finds it hard to start off though I feel so sorry for him, trying and not getting it and trying again and not getting it. He kept trying and then asked me if we can put his training wheels back on. Poor wee boy. But he's doing so well, it's just getting the hang of starting off that he finds difficult. He's so used to putting both his feet on the pedals and starting to pedal. So he's still trying to do that and of course, can't. When he gets it going though he soooooo good and goes for ages, pedaling along and steering. My boy is growing up way too fast.

He's way more confident with the horses now too and can lead them around by himself and make sure they listen to him and go where he wants, and not eat when they're not supposed to. It's adorable watching him walk around the paddocks leading them and talking to them the entire way. So lovely.

He'd been getting bullied at "school" which was so hard to deal with. I wanted to whack the little shit being mean to my boy!!! hehe He said to me one day on the way home after I'd picked him up "I don't like going to school Mama", "Why not Caelan", "Because Kanye is always mean to me". That broke my heart. He'd told me about a few times when Kanye had punched him in the stomach or pushed him over. As much as I hated it, I thought kids do that, I asked him if he told a teacher and he said no that he just cried, I told him he must tell a teacher when anybody does anything like that. But when he said that I got so sad for him. We had a big talk about it and I told him that we'd talk to the supervisor the next day about it and make sure they know what's happening and to keep an eye on it. I can't believe this shit is already happening.

He's also has said quite a few times that a lot of the older kids from a different centre (which he'll be going into soon) be mean to him and call him a girl all the time. I say to him that he should just tell them he's a boy not a girl and to walk away and try not to listen and let it upset him. It's because of his hair, he's always had people thinking he's a girl. Most strangers that see him think he's a girl - I don't know how. He doesn't look like a girl, he doesn't dress like a girl. Morons. *mutter, mutter* It sucks too because he has a pink striped pair of thermal leggings that he loves (we got them on sale for Siahn to grow into but he loves them and wears them), they're his favourite and often he asks to wear them. I tell him that they're not really for wearing out anywhere like school, or playgroup or anything like that but he can still wear them. A wee while ago he said "Pink is for girls isn't it Mama?", I told him that it's mainly girls who like pink but if he likes pink that's fine and there's nothing wrong with it, he said "I shouldn't have my tights (that's what he calls them), but I really like them, but I shouldn't should I?". I told him that if he likes them then it's fine, my poor wee boy. He wears them every now and then and if anyone calls him a girl or teases him for it I swear I'll kick them. He's just a little boy and there's nothing wrong with liking different things. GOD!

Siahn's great, she's a crazy eat machine. It's insane, she gets frantically hungry so soon after eating and is nearly crying again saying "Eat! Eat! Eat!" while trying to climb into her highchair. Yesterday I was working and she came up to me crying saying "Bib. Bib. Bib" over and over shoving a bib in my hands, I asked her if she wanted me to put it on and she said "Yeah. Bib. On", so I put the bib on. She then turned around immediately and ran to the kitchen saying "Eat! Eat! Eat!" and then "Up. Up. Up" when she got to her highchair. She definitely got Chris' appetite and metabolism! It's crazy.

She's so into doing stuff. Really not that happy to just hang (understatement of the year there! LOL She cries constantly unless she's doing something and kept entertained). She loves riding her bike up the driveway with Caelan. Really loves riding Valentine (her horse), well actually any of them, she wants to get on all of them. She's such a girl too, loves dressing up, putting shoes on and her absolute love is baby dolls. She loves them - much to my disgust! haha

She's talking heaps now. Totally blowing us away with everything she can say now. I don't know how it all happens, suddenly they're just talking heaps and blowing you away. You go from being able to count the words they know to not even attempting because it's just way to impossible. She's a very determined wee thing - LOL - she throws fits if she's not happy with how things are going and stamps her feet and throws herself to the floor. Neato. We're gonna have fun when she's a toddler. hehe

Caelan told me that he'd like another two babies, another boy and another girl - they will be called Ozy and Mack. Of course they will! I said to him "Don't you think it'd be cool if we were just us how we are now? Me, Daddy, you and Siahn?" "No. We need another two babies". No highly likely sorry Caelan, considering I can't carry anymore babies and Daddy's had the big snip. hehe But who are we to burst his bubble?

Happy birthday message for Natalie

2009-08-26T07:20:00.001+12:00

https://vr.shapeservices.com/play.php?hash=521727cd256aaa88296f57bd746aeadfbd1cf19c60bef08b2

Caelan singing happy birthday to my sister and their aunty Natalie in Australia and Siahn saying hello and bye. We recorded it and uploaded it to Facebook for her, hope it worked. Hope you had the best day Nat! xox

___
Recorded on iPhone and posted with VR+ Lite.
http://vr.shapeservices.com

Bigger kidlets

2009-07-16T09:04:00.011+12:00

Sheesh it's been a while huh? I must have been busy raising kids or something! LOL

Caelan's good, he's finally totally used to me leaving him at daycare. HORRAY!!! It only took just under 11 months to get a day without crying when I left him. Thank fark it's stopped now. It was so hideous and hard leaving him, when all I wanted to do was pick him up and run away with him and not make him be away from me. hehe But he needed it, otherwise he would have totally fell apart at school time. It took adding another day after he turned 3 to help with things, and the day we added was Monday which wasn't as busy. I think that's helped a lot too. Regardless, I soooooo happy he's happy :) He still gets a little sad about half the time but hardly ever cries now which is fan-freakin-tastic.

He's a biggun too, not that he was ever small, but he's super tall and a heavy 22kg. Just about breaks me to lift him these days! His favourite things at the moment are his little cars, plays with them for ages. It's so cute. He's loving learning as well, spells his name and recognises most letters and says what words start with them. Clever wee thing! He's a great brother too (some of the time!) and just about makes me cry with his sweetness and loveliness to Siahn. Then just about makes me chock him with his beating and evilness to her! hehe

Siahn's good. She's talking a lot more now - she says Mama, Dada, down, up, dog, nappy, hat, shoe, sock, poo, wee wee, cat, woof, meow, moo and a funny horse neighing sound. There are probably more but I can't remember right now. She's always saying stuff and talking frantically at us. Super duper cute.

Here's a whole lot of photos from the last four or so months - they're just crappy quality as only taken on my phone. Been soooooo slack with the camera lately and not been taking photos. Must make sure I get back into it AND the bloody video!

Our little girl is 1 year old

2009-05-18T17:58:00.004+12:00

Siahn turned one last Wednesday, so so so so so so freakin' crazy. I don't understand how it's possible! We gave her presents to her in the morning and she loved them - we decided to start a Little People collection for her and got a tractor and trailer with farmer and cow. It's so cute. One of Caelan's teachers got her two Little People girls so we decided that we should start getting those for her. There are so many cool Little People things to get and she really loves playing with them. The good thing about them is she'll play with them for years too. So yay Dee for giving us the idea! We had a lovely birthday hanging with the Coopers in the morning and having a lovely birthday lunch there before coming home for a late sleep.

We've got a student nanny at the moment for two weeks, last week was her first week and Siahn was a NIGHTMARE!! She screamed whenever Seanney looked at her, I couldn't leave the room without Siahn screaming and having a major meltdown. Poor Seanney couldn't do anything, when she tried to comfort Siahn or pick her up Siahn would scream harder and run away. Funny sight! But shit it got annoying. Things improved greatly on Friday afternoon and I'm soooooo happy to say that today was also good. YAY!!! That was horrible, it's supposed to be a help but I couldn't do anything. I did way less that I would have done had I not had Seanney here, couldn't do a thing because Siahn was so strange about Seanney being here. Thank god it's over now!

Siahn is walking everywhere now. So cute. I just love that toddly new walk, it's adorable. I get kinda sad watching it and thinking that I'll never experience these things again. It really does go so fast!

Siahn's birthday party was on Saturday and it was lovely. Chris' father, grandfather and brother came along with the Coopers and the Dunns - lovely party. Both kids had a late sleep after the party and I slept on the couch - yay for sleeping kids and me actually being able to sleep. Loved it! I was up till just after 3am - crazy! The cake had us up until 2am and then I was mad and on the computer for the rest of the time. Psycho! The cake turned out so well though, it was so much fun doing a pretty girly cake. Loved it! It was a fairy toadstool house - yay for girlie stuff! I loved it :)

I'll post more pics later, but here are a few.

Got myself a crying, talking, sleeping, WALKING living doll

2009-04-27T15:20:00.003+12:00

Yep, she walks! Siahn's been doing a few unaided steps for a while now but it's getting more and more and her confidence is growing. She just did around 10 steps while holding a toy - so freakin' cute!! She's adorable at the moment, really yummy.

Caelan is now a big 3 year old

2009-04-19T14:44:00.012+12:00

He really is such a big boy, we look at photos taken that seem like it wasn't long ago and he looks so little. They change so quickly, he'll never be our cute little boy again. He's growing all the time and that time has gone now - it's really sad. But exciting too because who knows what he'll be in another year, there will be different things that we'll think are amazing and totally adorable. We're both a little sad about the little boy that's gone though. His birthday was an amazing day, Chris took the day off which was cool and we started with presents in the morning. As soon as he was awake we said happy birthday and told him there was something in the lounge for him. When he went in to find his new western saddle across the arm of the couch he was so excited, it was gorgeous. Then we gave him some more pressies from us, some books, a colouring book, some playdough and some car toys. Caelan and I then iced the cake he'd helped me make the night before which we were taking into daycare for a wee party with his friends and teachers there. The cake was an awesome moist rich chocolate cake baked with olive oil and melted dark chocolate mixed through - soooo good. I made a chocolate buttercream icing with more melted dark chocolate mixed through, then we decorated it with lollies.

Not the most amazing cake in the world but crickey it was yummy! We got to daycare at about 9am and hung out with Caelan there, after some morning tea and a play it was cake time. Caelan sat at the front with one of his favourite teachers and everybody sang happy birthday to him. It was soooo lovely, he then blew out his candles and cut the cake. Super duper cute and he handled being the centre of attention really well. I thought he might have found it a bit too much, being the crazily shy boy he is, but he did really well. Dee (the teacher) asked him how old he was and he told them all that he was three, he blushed pretty badly so I could see he found it quite hard but he sat there really well and looked at all the kids when he said he'd turned 3 and when asked what presents he got, he said as well while looking at Dee and then out to the kids. My lovely boy!

After cake and corn chips time it was play time and swimming. Caelan sooooo big compared to all the other boys, Chris was blown away. We know he's much taller and bigger because you can just see that when he's with others his age. But when they were all ready for swimming it's really noticable, he has a big body, not little like the rest. He looks like this massive kid, which he is but ya know, he really looks it. hehe He had so much fun swimming, he actually had heaps of fun the entire morning there and I think he must have just felt comfortable and confident because he knew we were staying with him and when we left, he was coming with us. It made a huge difference to how he was, even the teachers were commenting. And it's actually stayed, Kat (the supervisor of his centre) said it's like something changed immediately, he turned 3 and he's now much more confident, happy and talkative there. So nice to hear!

After more playing and hanging out with his friend Jeremy - lovely lovely little boy whose been friends with Caelan since day one. They're really cute to watch playing together, I felt really bad too because Caelan kept on talking about Jeremy and saying he'd be at his party and then when I explained that he wont be because I didn't invite him (apologising heaps for this!) he then kept saying that Jeremy wont be coming and that's really sad. Soooo I've now learned that just because we have heaps of kids coming anyway, I need to make sure I still invite his close friends :( Poor wee boy really wanted Jeremy there. Didn't seem like he noticed on the day though thank goodness! Anyway, we left his daycare at 12pm and asked him where he wanted lunch "A cafe" was his reply, we went to Denny's much to Chris' delight! hehe Caelan ordered for himself from the menu (which thankfully has pictures so he chose from the pictures) and loved his chicken nuggets and curly fries. From Denny's we headed to Chipmunks and OH MY GOD! That place is a wonderland!! We had so much fun. There was nobody else there and we had a ball, adults aren't allowed on the things but we said that Caelan wouldn't go on without us (which would have been true had there been any other people there), the girlie said that seeing as though nobody else was there it should be fine. We had the BEST time, running around crazily playing and climbing up all the amazing jungle gyms and going down the scary slides. Siahn is going to be an adrenalin junkie after all of the things she always does, she absolutely loved it. We all were playing on the big things that are for the older kids only, the preschool area just didn't cut it. hehe We played there for about 4 hours and then left for dinner. Caelan was allowed to chose what he wanted for dinner and it was initially rice and meat but after some coaxing from Chris it was changed to Wendys. Gggrrrrr! I was not impressed!! Chris' parents came over once we were home to see the birthday boy and give him his present which was a toy chainsaw and safety glasses - he was soooo happy when he opened it, absolutely loved it. What a fantastic day!! It's the best birthday that Chris or I have ever had and it wasn't even ours. hehe And most importantly Caelan really enjoyed it and had so much fun.

Chris and I had decided that The Wiggles Big Red Car cake was the one to have this year. He loves his Big Red Car we got from The Wiggles show and always says that he loves it, so it was obvious this had to be the cake. We searched and found the perfect cake and decided that we had to replicate it. But then realised we just didn't have the time. It was such hard for us because we love doing his birthday cakes and it feels great to do a cake themed to what he really loves at the time. But we knew there was no way we could do it so reluctantly started looking around for someone else to do, one of Chris' mothers friends does cakes so I made contact and emailed her the photos of the cake, which were fantastic because they were from all angles. She said she could do it. YAY! I must admit I was pretty bloody nervous leading up to it from some of her comments about how it was an amazing cake and it wouldn't look as good but she'd do her best. I was having a quiet heart-attack every time I got a text! I picked up the cake the day before and WOW - it was absolutely amazing! So great and just like the cake we wanted - so great in fact that I rang Chris saying we can't use this tomorrow, he got scared and thought it must have been really bad and then I said that it was way too cool and we just can't cut it up. I looked at it all the way home, driving really carefully and slowly (which is amazing for me!). Though I did have a wee panic when I noticed that The Big Red Car was now a left hand drive and Anthony was driving - that's not right! We all know that Sam is supposed to drive and Caelan knows that really well. I got out to open the gate and had to examine the cake, yay I was able to convert the car easily from left hand drive to right hand and Sam was then doing the driving, singing scooby doo wah. hehe Crisis over. Obviously the cake we found was made my an american and they changed the steering wheel to look more "normal" to them.

Aint it just the coolest?!?! She did such a great job, I had to text her and thank her so much, telling her how amazing she is and how much we love it. So happy and the faces are super cute, just like the faces on the original, so clever! Geoff is sleeping and Murray's looking up at the 3 candle - I love it and was really worried about what we were gonna do because I seriously didn't think I could cut it. hehe I decided I'd take the car off after he'd blown out the candles and cut the green tier first.

Party day arrived and Caelan was super duper excited about it, the roller coaster we hired was a hit, as was the trampoline filled with 150 balloons painstakingly blown up by Chris and I the night before. The kids played, did their Easter themed treasure hunt and ate lots. Caelan was soooo blown away when he saw the cake, the look on his face was priceless, as soon as he'd blown out the candles he reached for one of the headlights and ate it. As soon as he did that it was an invitation for the other kids around to follow his lead. Suddenly The Wiggles were getting decapitated and heads eaten. I tried to stop it all and take off the car but it was all over. So I gave up and just started cutting it.

All in all I think it was a great party and the kids had fun. Everybody got a pony ride and the rain pretty much stayed away, there were a few rainy patches but it cleared and everyone was able to play and ride and be crazy kids. YAY! In amongst the excitement we forgot to give Caelan the rest of his presents from us so in the evening he got more, the guitar was the winner I think. We knew he'd love it, he used to have a crappy little ukulele which broke a while ago, we got him a 30" (which is quarter size) real guitar. It's black which he thinks is super cool, he sings and plays it because "I'm a rock star aye Mama?". :)

Big kids

2009-03-31T09:58:00.006+13:00

Caelan's nearly three and Siahn's nearly one!!!! WOW!!!! I look at old photos of Caelan and get sad cause he's such a big boy now, I don't know where it all went and how it went so fast. And how the hell did a year go by since Siahn was born?!?!

We went to The Wiggles on Sunday and it was soooo good :) Caelan was a little overawed and starstruck but loved it and Siahn the little party girl sat on Chris' lap dancing and clapping the entire time. hehe It was so cute - they both loved it and so did we. Gone are the days of getting excited to see pumping DJs at dance parties! We now get excited and boogy down at The Wiggles concerts. My how things have changed in the last three years. haha

Caelan's great and talks like an adult, is amazingly clever and learns things so quickly. He's so precise and makes sure to get things exactly right. He counts well, knows 1+1, 2+2, 3+3 all the way up to 12+12, he can recognise letters and knows how to spell his name. He makes us sooo proud. He's also driving us crazy with naughtiness at the moment! So things aren't all great, hopefully this "phase" ends soon, we're hoping like hell it is a phase and not just him.

Siahn's standing from sitting without holding onto things, walking around furniture all the time and stand unaided much more. Though no attempts to take unaided steps yet. She says hello and tata while waving, knows I'm Mama and Chris is Dada and nods yes and jabbers all the time. She's also very whingy, like all the time! Hopefully this just isn't her as well!! She's also a snot machine - it honestly seems like she's always got snot dripping from her head which is bloody annoying.

And she's off!

2009-01-27T20:46:00.003+13:00

She's a real crawler now. It all started properly (i.e. long distance hehe) yesterday, not just the little bits she'd been doing and then decided she just didn't want to do that, it's real crawling all over the place. Though she's still more keen on wanting to be upright and walking round like the big people. She's constantly pulling herself up against anything and everything now and letting go. Crazy girl. Which of course ends up with her falling, but she'll learn soon. She's really controlled though and doesn't hurt herself that much with her falls which is good. We don't catch her or stop her from falling cause that's how she's gonna learn, but it's great she's not hurting herself too much with it. She'd been getting wherever she wanted to go for quite a while now by doing the short burst of crawling, combined with standing on her feet and then twisting around, sitting down and then doing it all again. Now she's just crawling for longer burst. Soooo we have a crawler at 8 months, not quite as early as Caelan (though he was only just before he was 8 months) but pretty much the same time. So much for our last bubba being a bubba for longer! It looks like she wants to be walking really soon too, hopefully the urgency for that within her will diminish a little now that she's crawling.

Photos

2009-01-23T22:58:00.006+13:00

I'm gonna make up for not posting many pics now! hehe

Caelan's been swimming every day here which he's LOVING, it's awesome to have the pool. I swam with him today but Siahn hasn't been swimming cause she's got a cold. Poor wee girl - she's been waking 12 million times a night lately. Actually I should say: she's been sleeping a few times each night lately. Cause she's awake a whole lot more than she's asleep dammit. Anyway soon the evil teething and cold will be gone! Caelan's also not doing the best on the sleeping front (LOL that's a bloody understatement!) but that's our own fault for getting him so far off his routine while we were down in Whanganui. Hopefully we fix it soon cause it's maddening.

Siahn's standing heaps now and really active on the floor but looking like she wants to go straight to walking rather than focusing on the crawling thing. She's always just getting up, she crawled today but really it's just not for her, she'd much rather be on her feet. Crickey I hope she holds back a bit before fully getting there. She's standing up against anything and everything and taking a few steps while doing this. Slow down Siahn!

It's been a long time...

2009-01-18T21:50:00.007+13:00

We shouldn't have left you. Without a dope beat to step to.

haha That song came into my head as soon as I typed the title. Annnnnnnyway, Caelan's 2 years and 9 months old and Siahn's 8 months. Wow huh? Gotta get back into updating more regularly!

Just before Christmas we went up to Whangarei for Grandma's 98th birthday. It was awesome! So nice to spend the time with her and so super duper nice for the kids to spend time with her. She loved it too. Siahn was teething though so she was damned miserable for the first part of the time there. She is THE WORST teether in the world - it was hell. She was screaming, not sleeping with high temperatures and pulling at her ears, we thought it was ear infections at first but nope just evil teething screwin' with her. She was better for the last part of the trip though which was good. Then we nearly killed her on the day we came home. GULP! It was horrible. We put her to sleep on the bed on queen sized bed we'd been sleeping on as the portacot was already packed up ready to go. She'd taken to throwing herself backwards so to stop her banging her head on the wall we put a folded queen-sized bedspread against the wall. We were all out in Grandma's granny-flat for ages and Chris went inside for something and thankfully went to the door where she was sleeping to see if he could hear anything. He heard a really strange sounding quiet muffled screaming when he put his ear to the door and rushed in to find her tangled under the bedspread, struggling and screaming weirdly with a really husky voice. When he got her out she was drenched in sweat (literally dripping) and bright red with weird looking eyes, had lost her voice and was soooo scared. Our poor little girl. I just about died when he bought her to me and told me what had happened. She was strange and floppy for a while - we took her clothes off, put a fan on and cooled her down with flannels while I feed her to calm and hydrate her. So lucky he'd gone inside then because we don't think she would have survived much longer. Ugh. Caelan had heaps of fun there even though it rained the entire time, he enjoyed going from Makere's house to Grandma's and back. And really enjoyed the never ending supply of carrot cake when he visited Grandma! hehe We didn't even try to kill him at all so he had a super great time ;)

We got back late Christmas eve and had a lovely Christmas day at home just the four of us - it was so nice! We got up and did presents straight away - we got Caelan and Siahn a really cool rocking horse to share that we set up in the lounge the night before so he walked out to find it and was SOOOOO excited. We got him a really cool remote controlled car that flips and has crazy lights all over it, a huge castle set, a big Formula 1 racing track and cars set, a spade and wheel barrow, heaps of Hotwheels and Matchbox cars, a kite and other little things in his stocking - he LOVED them and had the best time opening them all excitedly. Siahn didn't get as many things as him as she already has heaps of his old toys and really doesn't need anything, not to mention even have a room to store anything! But we got her a cool rolling ball thing with a monkey on it that laughs and makes noises as it rolls around to encourage crawling, a ball that's made up for different coloured pieces which comes apart, a cool cube set that has rings and links together, a phone toy that plays songs, has games and sounds etc and some other stuff that I really can't remember along with her small stocking fillers as well. It was so great to have christmas at home as a family! Though a bit of a bummer cause we had no food in the house and no money due to a job Chris had lined up being cancelled and him not working or getting paid for 4 weeks. So we couldn't do the yummy food thing, or even the eating thing! LOL But thankfully we were able to visit Chris' parents and eat when there! Horrah. We came back home and hung out here till late afternoon where we headed over to the lovely Coopers who were kind enough to feed us Christmas dinner - yay! It was a great time, really nice end to a good Christmas day.

The rest of the time was spent hanging around home. Before Christmas sometime we'd bought a wee pool so we set that up and swam quite a lot. Caelan LOVES it, Siahn found it a bit bloody cold and screamed most of the time in protest! hehe Poor thing. We also set up the tent in the yard and spent a lot of time playing in there. We wanted to sleep in there but Siahn had taken to waking 12 million times a night again with the bastard teething and we wouldn't have been able to hear her from out there. We did try to sleep in the tent for one day sleep with the two of them but they just weren't playing the game, Siahn screamed and Caelan just kept talking and playing and doing anything but go to sleep. Ah well - we tried.

We've just gotten back from a weeks holiday in Whanganui and it was sooooooo good to get away and feel like we had a holiday. Yay for credit cards! hahaha The drive down was amazingly good - we were really scared of it after we decided to just do it. Thought we were setting ourselves up for 6 hours of screaming but were pleasantly surprised. They were soooooo good, for that long trip we only had around 30 mins screaming. WOW, we were so thrilled and felt extremely lucky. We had a nice week there, though for the last 2 days Siahn was teething again (top teeth this time) and it was very icky. It rained for the first half and was lovely the last. We didn't do much but went to the best park in the world - it's truly amazing, Caelan LOVED it. We all went on a train ride around the park together which was great. We also we to the pools down there and Caelan went down the hydro slide - it was HUUUUGE and soooo fast and he absolutely loved it. So gorgeous, I took a video of it on Chris' phone, I'll try to upload it to YouTube and post it here. He had the best time. So cool to spend the week with Romaine, Jay and their gorgeous little girl too. We absolutely loved Whanganui and are going to look into moving down there.

Caelan's growing up so fast. It's crazy and pretty sad. I can't believe my little boy is now this kid who knows lot of stuff and can do all these things. He's just the coolest and so freakin' clever, it really blows my mind when I spend time with other kids his age or older, makes me realise just how super advanced his talking and understanding is. We just live our lives with him and although we know he's really clever and he blows us away on a pretty much daily basis (hehe typical parent thing I suppose!), we don't really realise that he really is way ahead of his age with talking and understanding. Not that it's something super important to remember but it's pretty amazing to see and I think it's good because perhaps we can tend to expect a lot from him because he's advanced, then to put it all in perspective like that and realise that 'Wow, he's bloody amazing for his age' and we shouldn't really expect too much. It's a good reality check I think. He's super tall and still really big, Chris weighed him a couple of days ago and he was just under 19kg so still got lead in his bones too. hehe He's really into his little cars at the moment, reading is still up there as well but swimming is probably his favourite thing to do.

Siahn's been threatening to crawl for a month now and still hasn't really gotten there. She's all over the place and so active when on the floor but isn't actually crawling, she's on her hands and knees and hands and feet all the time and goes forward a wee bit but it's not real crawling yet. She currently has 3 evil teeth and 1/2 on the way, can't quite work it out yet. Definitely one at the top that is the mongrel that's trying to kill her at the moment but I think there's another one at the bottom trying to get in the torture too. This morning at about 4:45am things were hideous, she was throwing herself around in pain and screaming while pulling at her ears and thrashing around. It was horrible and we couldn't do anything to settle her or even get a break in the screaming - these last 4 days have been unbelievably bad with this arsehole tooth. Chris even seriously considered cutting her gum to ease the pain because it's that bad. This morning we were thinking we might have to take her to A&E soon if she didn't start to calm, finally she stopped screaming and fell asleep out of exhaustion just before 7am. Our poor little girl. She also is on a breastfeeding strike - she hasn't fed since after her lunch on Friday in Whanganui just before we came home. I think it's because of the pain due to teething, her gums are swollen and she's in heaps of pain so I'm guessing that sucking makes the pain worse and she doesn't want to feed because of that. It sucks though, I keep trying to feed her and she screams and fights and pushes herself away from me. So I've been expressing a couple of times a day so my milk doesn't dry up. I hope she starts feeding soon. Luckily she's now drinking water out of a glass though so at least she's getting liquids. Gotta try to get her feeding again some how because she's got a cold as well I she'd feel better and get over it quicker if she was feeding. I even tried this evening by getting some food and trying to lie her down across me with a spoonful of food by my boob! But as so as she realised what I was doing the screaming and fighting and pushing started again. ARGH! I hate this and hope it ends soon. I'm not ready to give up breastfeeding yet and certainly don't want to move to formula so I hope it ends and we can carry on with the plan of feeding her to 12 months when she can go straight onto normal cows milk. Aside from the evil teething she's such a lovely happy girl. She loves people and is so sociable. I've taken her to one appointment with a great homeopath about the relflux and she's been on two remedies which have given pretty good results, we have a few more remedies to try this year before finding the perfect one. It'll be great when that's sorted totally - huge improvement though already which is fantastic.

Right - photo time. You'll have to excuse some of them - they're just taken on my phone so aren't the greatest!

Guy Fawkes

2008-11-26T14:12:00.002+13:00

I forgot to post these ages ago! We didn't get to go to the Clevedon fireworks show this year because Boo at the Zoo was on the same night, which is a shame because it was such a cool night and Caelan loved it last year. He still remembers it and talks about it. Though Boo at the Zoo was also damned cool so we're really glad we got to go to that, and Caelan loved being a penguin. He was the cutest penguin ever! I think I've got a pic of him on my phone so I'll post that as well soon.

On Guy Fawkes night we had some fireworks here after Siahn went to bed and Caelan really loved it. It was so much fun! Just Chris, Caelan and I, we all had heaps of fun.

Fuckin' reflux may be the death of me yet

2008-11-13T17:06:00.002+13:00

Argh!!!! We've just gone downhill after a pretty good patch and I swear I might die. Second time round sucks big time, everyone kept saying it would be easier as we'd been through it before. But really it's harder, with a demanding 2 year old to look after, no chance of rest, constant wake-ups throughout the night and no breaks. Combine that with the screaming of a 6 month old with reflux that's just gone belly up again and you have one very, very stressed out Mama struggling to cope.

So now it seems there was no supply problem at all, it was just the start of reflux rearing it's ugly arsehole of a head again. She's outgrown her current dose and we need to up it, until then things are gonna be fun, fun, fun. haha NOT! Though my Plunket nurse must have felt my desperate vibes because she called to see how things were, didn't go into detail just told her that we'd hit a bad patch again and things were pretty hard. She is great and remembered things we'd discussed in the past and said "That must be really hard not having family around and not getting the regular breaks you need when you have a baby with reflux, they're really difficult and it's vital", I nearly cried. She said she'd call some family support company to get them to contact me and see what they can help with. They called a wee while ago and will contact me next week to discuss what I'd need and how they can help, even if they just come over to help with housework and watch kids so I can sleep. Yay! Cause bloody hell I'm exhausted! I've had the same damned sore throat for over a month now, I have constant headaches and after the cold that I had and getting mastitis 3 or so weeks ago I just don't want it again. I know it's all because I'm rundown, stressed and tired but mastitis is horrible and evil and I thought I was gonna die having it and looking after these two! I sooooo don't want it again please. And this life I live is a welcoming invitation for it. Ek.

She talks

2008-11-11T21:27:00.006+13:00

Well not in words words but she thinks she is. As of this afternoon she's been jabbering away in la la la la la and ya ya ya ya ya and da da da da words and getting very shitty at me for my boobs not supplying enough milk. She was growling at me and really telling me off. Poor funny girl! Hopefully I can sort this supply issue out soon. For the last two days she's been feeding really badly, obviously hungry, getting on and then pulling off and arching and crying and being pretty damned pissed off about it all. Obviously the first thing I thought of was reflux but I don't think so because she seems ok otherwise, still pretty happy and smiley, so I think it could be supply. Will check it all out and sort it for her.

Sick, sick, sick

2008-11-06T14:23:00.007+13:00

Come on summer! We've all been sick for ever it feels like - but thankfully everyone is getting better (apart from me) now. The sickness for the last over a month has made their sleeping really shitty. We've had them both waking a million times a night and not settling for way too long. Caelan's getting sorted now (only woke once last night and settled quickly) but Siahn is really broke! She wakes a kabillion times and screams for ever. We're totally over it. It's hard, hard work being sick for ever, never getting more than 5 hours sleep and working constantly and never having a break. Does not make for very happy parents! Ah well - that's all part of being a parent huh? Still it makes me want to kick those people that have lots of support and regular breaks but still moan, hehe, the green eyed monster certain takes over us. Just as well Caelan and Siahn are damned cute though, just as bloody well.

Caelan's good - totally crazy and driving us to distraction just about all the time! haha He now has his big boy bike which is super duper cute to watch him riding around on. He sings constantly. Shouts and screams at the top of his lungs sporadically for no apparent reason. Gets super excited and spazzes out nearly hitting Siahn in a fit of I don't know what. Is super duper sweet and adorable to Siahn - this morning while I was making his daycare lunch she woke up and started crying, he went running in there and said in a really cute happy voice "Good morning Siahn! Did you have a good sleep pretty girl?". I just about cried! He then went to get a car and put it in her cot for her to look at saying "Here little girl, you can play with this car. Good girl!". I then went rushing in having visions of him beating her over the face with the car and said that it's really lovely he's sharing his toys with her but she shouldn't really have toys in her cot. So he got it out, I went back to rushing to get the lunch done, she cried as he walked away from her and he called back "It's ok Siahn, I'm just putting my car away and then I'll come back and Mama will be here soon, she's just making my lunch" and then "See I'm back now, it's ok little girl". He is sooooooo adorable! Though he is also a monster - he whacked her over the head with a big rattle really hard last week. Oh dear. He's growing up soooo fast - it's sad and great all at once.

Siahn's good too - sleeping really really badly and driving us insane though! Lordy, lordy for a baby that doesn't have reflux, screaming marathons and sleep issues. But then that baby wouldn't be ours! Damn my family and our crappy reflux, intolerances and stomach issues - damn us. It sucks that I gave our children this evil, evil, evil maggoty thing. Ah well - they're damned cute though :) She's a constant spew machine and I'm sick of all the washing, cleaning spew off the couches and smelling revolting. Oh for a baby that isn't constantly leaking as well. She's really not interested in rolling has done it less than five times I think. But she's sitting up all the time and loves doing this to play. Perhaps she'll be slower at doing things and we'll feel like we've got a baby for longer - that would be great. Because she's our last one, it would be really nice to have a baby for a bit longer - it's always felt like Caelan's growing up too fast and doing things too soon.

She's not that interested in solids, actually she's getting there now but it definitely took longer for her to get into it than Caelan. She has 3 meals a day and is getting more into it. She had sushi for the first time last weekend and loved it - just like Caelan did at 5 months too! She has rice bubbles for breakfast in the morning at the table with Caelan, it's so cute. She drinks water well from a little cup and enjoys it. Though drinking milk from a bottle - NO WAY! Same dramas we had with Caelan from not doing it regularly enough - pain in the bum. She's such a smiley happy wee girl though really, she just doesn't like to sleep and protests loudly about it a lot of the time.

I need to make sure I video them more! Haven't done it for ages and we just need to. Here are the latest photos.

She sits!

2008-10-01T13:56:00.004+13:00

Yesterday Siahn started sitting properly by herself. She'd been doing it a little before now but only for a wee while, yesterday she sat for ages by herself. Clever wee girl! I told the Plunket Nurse about it this morning and she was amazed that a 4 month old bubba could sit by herself and then when she was checking her over she wanted to see it and sat her up - she was blown away that she was just sitting there happily unaided chatting to us. hehe Just checked back though the blog and Caelan was sitting just before 6 months so she's over a month earlier than him.

Here's a pic of sitting Siahn (it's just taken on my phone so isn't the greatest).

And the little one rolled over

2008-09-19T16:28:00.002+12:00

SIahn rolled for the first time on Monday, at 4 months and 1 day old. Horray! Though she's hardly done it since. hehe She had her first go in the Jolly Jumper today and loved it too - so cute to see her chubby little white thighs as she's bouncing around.

The iceblock

2008-09-17T14:26:00.008+12:00

What'cha got there then?

Wow... interesting.

It looks reeeeeally yummy.

Ah, hey Caelan...

...Could I please have a lick?

How mean! It looks waaay yummier than my fingers.

Happy Fathers Day

2008-09-15T17:17:00.004+12:00

This is what I did for Chris' Fathers Day Present this year which he absolutely LOVED. It's in a black 5 photo frame with white mat and looks super duper cool if I must say so myself! hehe

Thanks Melilab!

2008-09-04T18:25:00.003+12:00

This is a photo of Siahn in her gorgeous kimono which was knitted from a free pattern written and designed by a very, very clever woman. I found it on her blog and I think it's truly adorable! Thanks sooooo much for writing and sharing your gorgeous pattern. Isn't it sweet?!?!?

Click here to check out her blog, which has heaps of adorable knitted pieces in.

Bloody evil reflux will be the death of us!

2008-07-30T13:15:00.008+12:00

Well I'd started a post a couple of weeks ago under this heading which was all doom and gloom, so I've deleted that and we'll start again :) Yes she has reflux, yes it sucks arse, yes we've had a pretty hard time with things for the last month or so but YES it's starting to feel a bit better. So I shall grab that with two hands and run with it! hehe Nothing like a bit of positivity! We've just increased her dose of losec so hopefully that kicks in soon and improves things even more. The last couple of days haven't been near as bad as what she'd been like, actually they've been damned good. YAY!!!! Aside from the bloody evil reflux she's doing really well, she's a happy girl when she's feeling good which is so lovely. She's now 6.36kg and 61cm long - so growing well. Yay!

Caelan's awesome, he's such a clever amazing little boy and such a good big brother :) He starts daycare soon - eeekkk! hehe But it'll be good - it'll be great for him and he needs to spend time away from me and get used to other people and trust other people. Also I really need it with Siahn being so difficult a lot of the time with the reflux, it's really hard with the two of them and feels horrible when he needs and deserves more time and attention than he's getting on her bad days. It's not fair for him, so due to me really needing a regular break (haha like having a reflux baby is a break!! LOL But at least I'll only have her and not a crazy toddler as well) we've done this. He starts on Tuesday the 19th of this month and I'll be taking him next week a few times for a couple of hours to get used to it with me around. We keep talking about daycare and have bought him a special new daycare bag, lunchbox and water bottle and he's excited about it all. Hope it goes ok because I'm worried about leaving my poor boy :( He's so shy and scared of other people - it'll be hard for him. But good, he does need it.

Here are some photos of them today :) Our little rock boy and sweet girl. hehe

Vomit, jabs and Dora

2008-07-06T12:16:00.007+12:00

Siahn is such a spew machine! We thought we had it bad in that department with Caelan, wow, she's SSSOOOOOO much worse. And the vomit washing is such a joy as well. She's heaps better in the discomfort levels relating to reflux though - much, much, much better. Her bad days are as often as Caelan's ok/good days, so although it's a pain in the arse to have another with reflux (that's being very mild as it was our worst fucking nightmare!), at least it's not as bad or worse than we first had it. She had her 6 week immunisations last Monday and even though I warned the nurse that she's a very loud screamer, she was still shocked at the volume that came from such a little baby. She's such a vocal protester about things, she was still doing this when the Dr have her the 6 week check over and he commented about it as well! hahaha All went well though, we've got Gaviscon to try first, though we haven't done this because it's such a drama to get in them and due to her protesting so voilently and loudly about everything and staying very worked up about things for so long we have been put off. Also we remember the drama forcing it into a screaming fighting Caelan before every feed - horrible, and it didn't do anything for him. But we've got to because if it gives her some comfort and lessens the crying and vomiting that would be awesome - I'll start today.

Caelan's great. He and I had some special Mama and Caelan time yesterday and went to the Dora show - he loved it! It was so nice to do something with him as well. Though poor Chris' special time with Siahn wasn't fun - she screamed pretty much the whole time. Caelan's doing really well at swimming too - getting more and more confident every week which is great. He now lets go of the sides and throws himself into the pool towards Chirs, even if Chris is far away. It's a pity it's the end of the term now, it goes so quickly! We'll have to work out things to do during these school holidays with Playgroup finished as well - hopefully it's not raining all the time otherwise he may go crazy shut inside this tiny house all the time with me and Siahn. Her screaming gets to him sometimes too, usually he's pretty good and tolerant of it, but when it's been going a long time he gets annoyed and last week shouted at her to "Stop crying please!!" when he was trying to watch The Wiggles. I totally understand what he feels like!! hehe

Siahn photos

2008-06-28T13:03:00.007+12:00

Smiley girl.

Oh so happy!

Tummy time.

Just woken up - lookin' pretty grumpy about it too!

With her Great Grandmother.

Today's prayer

2008-06-26T09:47:00.000+12:00

Lord give me the strength to make it through the day without killing my defiant two year old monster who has just started shouting and arguing in response to everything I say or ask - "Noooooo!" "I don't want to!" "I can't!" "Don't get angry at me!" "I wont do it!" "Don't tell me what to do!" "I'm not going to" "I'm angry at you!" all at the top of his lungs with the angriest look on his face as he glares at me... or my icky screaming demon of a baby who was awake and crying from around 2:30pm yesterday till 12am last night... or myself who has had enough. Lord give me strength.

Yawn

2008-06-13T09:42:00.003+12:00

This having babies thing is bloody tiring! We had a shit night last night, Siahn was really miserable - going between crying, grizzling and screaming while wriggling around. She really seemed like she was in pain and at one stage Chris came in and said he's sure she's got reflux. God I hope he's wrong! I don't know what I think. Her feeding has been really weird on and off for a while now - most of the time she feeds fine and how she always has, then other times she'll wriggle and cry or whimper while feeding and pull off and scream. She obviously hungry though and wriggles around then gets back on, feeds for a little while before crying during feeding again and eventually pulling off and screaming again. We try burping her when this happens, sometimes she burps, sometimes she doesn't. Either way though it doesn't stop the strange feeding. This strange feeding has been happening for the last week and more in the last couple of days - so much that she's hardly feeding as much as she used to. When she feeds like this she doesn't end up feeding at all after a few attempts and pulling off screaming. When we finally settle her down, she usually falls asleep straight away and wont wake to feed, so she goes to bed not having fed that time. It's worrying and it definitely could be reflux. But it could also be to do with how difficult it is for her to feed and she's getting frustrated. She has always had a hard time feeding due to the tongue-tie and although she got better she's always lost her latch frequently through all feeds. She'll suck a couple of times, then lose the latch, suck a couple of times, lose the latch - this has always happened and her feeding is really noisy and clicky due to it. I think it'd be frustrating and tiring - sometimes she stops feeding earlier and I think it's because of that, usually that happens at a particularly bad feed where she's falling off/losing latch a lot and it's like she can't be arsed dealing with it anymore so just stops. I don't blame her! So I don't know if all the screaming and crying during feeds is to do with that and being annoyed with it and getting really tired from it or if it's the dreaded reflux. Ugh.

She's booked in to get "the snip" on Tuesday at 11am. I CAN'T WAIT!!!! It's a bummer we couldn't get in earlier, with her feeding so bad four days seems like an eternity to wait. But we've gone this long without it I'm sure she can wait till then. I'm really worried about it, but after talking to a friend whose little boy got done at 6 weeks I'm feeling a little better (thanks Maurine!!). Plus I'm sure I've read absolutely ever piece of information on the condition and procedure available! TWICE EVEN!! hehe Though the idea of someone cutting a part of my baby's tongue without any aesthetic or anything is still scary, scary shit!

Caelan's great and we're soooooo fucking thankful that he doesn't wake to her night screaming sessions. That would be the killer. Though, Chris did have to go to him last night - he'd woken with a poo. Weird! But after a change and being convinced it's not "up time" he went back to sleep.

Speaking of poo's, earlier in the week we were in the lounge and Caelan starts walking to his room saying "I'm going to do a wee wee in my room" (or at least that's what I thought he said at the time, now that I think about it he probably said poo poo) and I said "No you're not, remember you wear undies now cause you're a big boy so I'll open the bathroom door and you can do a wee wee in the potty or toilet". Off we go with him saying "Ok, I'm gonna do a poo poo on the potty", I said "Cool, ok you do a poo poo on the potty and when you do you can have a special treat". He sits down on the potty and does a poo poo - as if he's always done it!!!! No drama. No problems. Just like that. I was over the moon!!! It hasn't happened since as he's tended to go while he's go his night nappy on, but it was pretty exciting! Dunno why he's gone from being fine to poo in the potty to not, but we'll get there. I think it's pretty amazing that he's toilet trained for wees so early without major drama or anyw accidents anyway. Can't have it all right?

Siahn's 4 weeks old tomorrow

2008-06-09T11:45:00.005+12:00

Bloody hell, second time around it goes even faster! If that's possible!!! I know I was always going on about how quickly the time had gone with Caelan and how I couldn't believe he was already how-ever-old... I have no idea how the hell Siahn is already nearly a month old!!! But she is and she's doing well, putting on weight awesomely regardless of the spewing, which actually isn't as much anymore. She's still "spilly" (find that term really funny), just not as many projectile or huge cot drenching, baby drowning ones - this pleases me! She's pretty screamy but we're hoping it's nothing more than that, refusing to think it's reflux just yet thanks. We keep telling ourselves that these are normal baby things and she wont have reflux, she WONT have reflux, she fucking better not have reflux!!!

She's been smiling since just before two weeks old. Real smiles, smiles where she looks at us and then slowly smiles till it's a gorgeous gummy grin reaching her eyes too. It's so lovely and I've been trying desperately to get a photo of it. So far have only managed to get one on my phone - so the quality is poos. At first Chris thought I was mad when I told him she was smiling, but then when he saw it he knew. Gill has seen it too and thinks that because she was so overcooked she's doing things earlier. She's smiling all the time now, which is good because it makes all the sleep deprivation and screaming much easier to deal with!

She's feeding heaps better but her tongue-tie still concerns me, I dunno if we should get it snipped now before she's too much older and actually has a problem with it. Or do we wait to see if it's a problem. I sooooo don't want her to have speech difficulties due to it, or have a lisp. Might call our doctor to see what he would recommend. A friend visited yesterday and after seeing Siahn's tongue said if it was her she'd get it done. It is pretty tied and when she moves it to cry or anything it gets heart-shaped at the tip (which means it's pretty tight for her and pulling when she moves it), she hardly ever pokes it out of her mouth. Actually I don't think she ever has. It comes to her bottom lip, but that's the most I've seen it come out I think. Something we have to decide pretty soon, like this week I think.

Anyway, here's a photo of her taken this morning. She soooooo looks like Caelan! I remember a photo of Caelan like this and it looks just like this. Crazy.

Caelan's really good. Still snotty but feeling fine now. He's pretty crazy and full-on at the moment - I think it's called being a two year old! hahaha He's great though, aside from being pretty rough and yucky with Siahn a few times - GGRRRRRRR. It's only to be expected though huh? Generally he's pretty good, wowing everyone (including us - though we're getting used to it, so much that it seems odd when other kids his age don't talk! hehe) with his amazing talking. We keep saying that Siahn isn't gonna talk till she's 15 because he's been so amazing at it. We've used up our good talking quote with him and she'll be incredibly slow!

We have demon children

2008-06-07T09:38:00.002+12:00

We had sooooo sooooooo sooooooooo hoped that Mark II would be a lovely, easy, delightful normal baby. Caelan was/is hard work a lot of the time and with all that reflux shit and screaming he's done/does we had hoped like heck this meant we would get an easy second one but unfortunately it's not seeming to pan out this way. Though it still is early days and I'm not prepared to give up hope just yet. Though yesterday it was a different story - the morning was bad but we finally got out the door and to playgroup where I was asked by a few people if I was ok and that I didn't look good, the beaten look must have been showing through! haha I was too tired and had THE BIGGEST headache known to mankind (well maybe not quite but it sure felt like it!). Then we got back and the afternoon got worse, the worse started when Demon2 screamed A LOT before finally going to sleep and 5 minutes later Demon1 woke after only 30 mins sleep screaming the house down, not able to be stopped or calmed for anything (even The Wiggles who can sometimes help in these bad times didn't work), cuddles, talking, distraction - nothing worked, he just screamed and screamed while pushing me away. I then pleading with him to stop, telling him that I cant handle it at all today and please stop screaming because if Demon2 wakes I'd just cry. Demon2 then woke screaming her head off, I cried and me crying made Demon1 scream louder. I went and got Demon2 from her cot - she just screamed and screamed and screamed and screamed (anyone would think someone was ripping her arms off - I did consider it!). We went back into Demon1's bedroom where he was still screaming blue murder. I sat down on the bed and cried with the screaming Demons, 1 next to me with my arm around him and 2 on my lap throwing herself around. It was horrible. I called Chris crying and all he could hear was screaming. It was a bad, bad afternoon. When it all finally subsided about 45 minutes later and we were calmly watching The Wiggles with Demon2 feeding Gill turned up and Demon1 told her "Mama was crying on my bed, we were all crying". Gawd. LOL She didn't notice or hear what he said though thank fuck! He said it again and I quickly said "I don't know where your digger is, why don't you go and look in your room".

The kids

2008-06-04T13:45:00.006+12:00

hahaha That cracks me up! We have kids - it just sounds weird. I haven't even gotten used to be pregnant (the first time!!!!) and now we have kids, PLURAL! Strange stuff.

Let's start with the biggun... he's such a good big brother! He's handling it SOOOOO much better than I expected. I thought he'd struggle, seeing as though he's such a Mama's boy, but no he's fine. He's handled it all wonderfully and loves Siahn. He found it a little odd when Chris bought him into the hospital the morning after she was born, he'd seen me the morning before at home and then suddenly I was in this strange place with this strange little baby attached to me. He was looking at me oddly while taking it all in, but he has done so, so, so well. We explained everything and he understands, he knows she's his little sister and he's her big brother. He like's to cuddle her on the couch and kisses her sweetly - it's so gorgeous! He does get a little rough every now and then - but he is only two and a boy at that! hehe

He's had a cold lately, but is getting better now - though of course that's just the start of all the disease and sickness bloody winter brings!! The main thing to mention here is he wears undies all the time now! Well apart from sleeping, which he still wears a nappy for. He's done so well and has just got it, without a problem, clever kid!. Though we're having a wee problem, well actually it's a poo problem! He has decided for some reason that he doesn't wanna do poos on the potty/toilet. Dunno why. Dunno what started it. But we're working on it and will get there soon I'm sure.

Siahn, pronounced Sea-arn not Sharn like the Gaelic Sian!!! A lot of people have been saying Sharn even though we put the "h" before the "n" to dissuade people from doing it. Even though it's not spelt the same and is a different name it's still been happening. But NO everyone it's not supposed to be pronounced Sharn and is not the Gaelic name Sian that means God is gracious. It's Siahn - just something we made up after seeing the name Sian and liking the sound of Sea-arn and how it works with Caelan. It's so annoying to be told by people that it's pronounced Sharn and it means God is gracious - well NO IT'S NOT! And NOT IT DOESN'T! Crickey! We named her, we should know! hehe

Anyway, she's really good. She's much better at sleeping at night now - she screamed for the first five nights of her life till we had enough and put her in her bed to scream herself to sleep. Otherwise we were going to be killing both of them the next day after so many nights of no sleep - well me mainly as I'd had three nights extra nights of it in hospital. Though Chris wasn't too keen on the couple of nights he'd had! He is the tougher one with the crying and leaving her - I have a really hard time with it, especially with a newborn. An older baby, even though it's still hard, is a bit easier for me, not so heart-wrenching. Anyway she didn't cry for long and soon we were all sleeping. It's hard though because she pretty much screams before every sleep and I sooooooo didn't want another one of those. It's so tough listening to so much screaming and crying, hopefully she gets the hang of it though and stops it soon and just goes straight to sleep. Caelan didn't really ever get to that stage till around a year old - but of course he was dealing with reflux (which we hope, hope, hope like hell she's not!) so that's why he didn't ever get it. I find it super hard and it feels wrong for one so young, but Gill continues to say there's nothing wrong with it and Chris is for it, so I shall try to be tough.

She isn't going to get her frenulum (the skin that connects the underside of the tongue to the bottom of the mouth) snipped now either - thank god!!! There was worry that she has ankyloglossia (Tongue-Tie) - which is the tongue movement being restricted by a tight frenulum. She was having trouble latching and keeping the latch due to this and wow oh wow - this really makes feeding painful while they try to work it out!! My poor nipples looked as if they'd been chewed up and spat out then glued back on in a rough manner! So so so so so so sooooo painful but thankfully she worked it out and my poor nipples started healing and she put on weight really well. YAY. I was so worried about this having to be done, I know there's nothing to it and heaps of babies get it done and they don't remember. But I didn't want it anyway thanks very much!!! Bloody Chris and his deformed tongue getting passed on to our kids! hehehe Thankfully though it hasn't effected Caelan's speech in any way - he is super advanced and doesn't have a lisp or anything much to my delight! Soooo I'm hoping it's the same with her too - they can do it later on but it's a bigger operation then and it's done under general anesthetic when they're older, but if she needs it later on then that's ok. I would have hated to do it to her as a baby for no reason, so just waited to see if the feeding improved and it did!

She's putting on weight awesomely actually, was nearly back up to her birth weight in a week - she was 3.7kg within a week. Good girl huh?!? And put on 520g in the next week - yay. That was the weight gain Caelan was having weekly, sometimes it was more which was crazy but then it leveled out to just over 500g. She's amazingly spewy - way more than him, and we thought he was spewy! But she really is, big power chucks frequently and vomits in her bed every sleeptime - sometimes huge and drenching herself and all the bedding (this happens every couple of days). As well as the projectile ones, she does big normal vomits, heaps of milk everywhere as well as spilling pretty much constantly. It sucks. As if babies didn't create enough washing anyway, hers is horrendous with her constantly hurling everywhere all over herself, us, our bed, her bed, her capsule and where ever else she happens to get. This makes us pretty nervous about the reflux thing, now is the time you usually start seeing effects of this. She is seeming to be less settled over the last couple of days, but who knows - babies are unsettled and do cry for no apparent reason and not sleep when they should. For the past couple of days she's been really unsettled from the afternoon throughout the night and then her feeding went funny and suddenly changed. Last night it was like she was starving and would feed for a little while (less than a quarter of the time she'd usually feed for) and then stop, then scream blue murder, feed for a little while, stop and scream blue murder again. This went on from 3am till 8ish - scares me!!! That could be caused by reflux but then again it could just be a baby being a baby too!

Siahn Anahera Clark

2008-05-24T14:43:00.011+12:00

At 42 weeks pregnant I finally got my first contraction at about 6:15am on Tuesday the 13th of May. I think I was about to wake and the pain of it made sure I definitely did, I lay there for a while thinking OUCH! and wondering if that was a contraction. I kinda thought it was because the night before we'd walked up the driveway to feed the horses and I got pretty severe back pain, I don't know why I thought that meant anything but I did. I lay there for a while longer thinking about how I was feeling and waiting for more pain, sure enough I got another one about 6 minutes later. WOW! This might just be it!!! They were pretty strong and full-on too, not at all what I'd been told or read about how it started. I then got up and went to the loo and got back into bed just before getting the third around 5 minutes later again, just as Chris' alarm went off at 6:30am. I told him I think he'd better let his bosses know he wont be in today as I've just had three contractions and they seem to be around 5 minutes apart and pretty strong. I'd read and been told that they start like period pain and pretty mild and further apart, so that's what I'd been expecting, I'd also expected that the first stage of labour would last a day, at least half a day and that I'd been fine to get some stuff done (including pack my bag! hehe Hopeless huh?!?!). Chris started timing and they were 5 minutes apart lasting around 30-40 seconds and pretty strong, enough to make me really take notice and be in quite a bit of pain. Within an hour they were really strong, so that I had to concentrate on relaxing and breathing through them, so we thought I'd better call my midwife as we'd never discussed when to call her - so I made the call to find out when to call! I told her that I'd been having what I can only imagine are contractions and they're 5 minutes apart and lasting around 45 seconds, she asked how long I'd been having them and I told her an hour, she then told me that I should ignore those as it could go on for a day or two like that. Christ all mighty woman! There is no way these could go on for two days like that - I sure as hell couldn't anyway! They were really sore and strong by then. She seemed rather irritated by me calling after just an hour and I explained that I just wanted to know when she wanted to hear from me as we hadn't discussed it. She said usually she would tell people to call her when they were 5 minutes apart, but only getting the first one an hour ago, it was highly unlikely that I was even in labour yet. Phft! Not in labour - by then I knew I definitely was in labour and it was happening quickly. She told me to call her when they were lasting a minute.

They got stronger and stronger each time, I had a shower to try to ease the pain which was growing strongly in my back as time wore on. By now I was really breathing through them and having to focus on relaxing, along with the moaning in pain of course! I was able to eat some porridge, not sure how, I didn't want it at all and I was in horrendous pain. It seemed like no time and they were lasting a minute and sometimes 3 minutes apart - these were really strong buggers too! I called back and let her know, she still seemed unconvinced that I was in labour, telling me to meet her at Botany and she would see if I was in labour, if I wasn't I'd have to come home, if I was we'd go straight to Middlemore so bring my bag. Hhhhmmm my bag... SHIT! My bag!!! Got off the phone and started attempting to get dressed and pack my bag - wow this was a feat and a half! I just couldn't do it! There I was thinking I'd be able to get a load of washing done, wait for it to dry, get it in, fix a fence with Chris and move the miniature horses, all while in first stage labour - getting these far apart polite little period pain contractions I heard so much about. Ha fucking ha! No way!! With my excruciating doubling-over totally impolite contractions I could barely put my bloody undies on!!! They were coming so hard and fast that I would not even get over one before the next one started - good lord, how on earth was I going to survive the car ride to Botany?!?! Not to mention the one to Middlemore after that, yes after that, meaning the contractions would be harder and closer together. I couldn't imagine it, but it still frightened the shit out of me. I couldn't pack my bag at all, Chris had to come in and do it while I leaned over furniture dying of incredible back pain - which soon Chris was rubbing my back frantically through to try to ease some of it. Shit people weren't wrong when they said that posterior labours are excruciating with unbelievable back pain. Not wrong there. The contractions themselves were sore and through a few of them I was rubbing my abdomen to ease the burning pain, but that was something I could handle, it was really sore but not kill-me type sore like the back pain.

Finally the bag was packed and I was in the car, dying through another hideous contraction. I was in the back seat really pulling against the back and front headrests to get me through the contractions that were much stronger now. I couldn't imagine making it all the way there, but of course I had to so I just focused myself and tried to relax in between and really think about all of me relaxing so I truly was before the next one came. I don't remember how many I had on the way there but it wasn't fun. I just wanted to be standing and leaning against something as I had been at home. When we got there I promptly hurled in the carpark in front of some man who was more than likely horribly grossed out by me. We were parked right outside the front door but I still managed to have two contractions on the way in leaning on Chris. I felt pretty horrible by now, with the nausea and totally wiped out by how hard and fast it had all started. Gill (my midwife) asked if my waters had broken "No" and had I had a show "No", I think this just made her think even more that I wasn't in labour. But when she checked me she announced "Well you're definitely in labour and are halfway there. 5cm dilated." That was such a relief because if she had have told me to go home I would have just cried and refused to leave! hehe She told us to head straight to Middlemore and she'd meet us there. Fuck, another car ride, well this might just kill me I thought.

But no, I survived, to make another spewing and contracting entrance in the carpark there at around 12:30pm. It was horribly embarrassing cause there were so many people around, I went to the front of the car to get my lean on and promptly hurled as the contraction started. It so hard to focus on heaving and dying at once! But I also managed this quite well and thankfully we got a carpark right next to the entrance. We walked in and I had another contraction on Chris infront of the elevator, with the silly girlie at the coffee bar next to me laughing. Arsehole. May bad things happen to her for that!

Upstairs in our delivery suite I spewed my way through more painful back contractions with Chris pressing really hard on my lower back through them, and then Gill gave me something for the nausea, which was great when it kicked in! Wahoo no more vomiting!! I was hooked up to a machine to track the contractions and one to monitor the baby, though this kept on falling off and after a while a monitor was attached to the baby's head. A catheter was put in - ugh, but made things way more comfortable. And I was used as a pin cushion while they tried to put a lure in for liquid and drugs. Wow this took a long time, Chris said he had to stop watching after a while because it looked too brutal. Felt too brutal too!! The membranes ruptured at 1pm and things kept on as they had been for a while and then backed off, the contractions really slowed down but were still really strong and getting worse for my back. It picked up again and it got to the point that I seriously thought I was going to die from the pain. That sounds crazy now, but that's how bad it was. I felt incredibly ill, shaky and like there was something really wrong with me. I just wasn't there, even in between contractions I wasn't there. Chris said I looked horrible and not there as well, he said I was a horrible colour and looked like I was going to pass out or had a lot of the time. It really was horrible. After talking about an epidural with Gill and her explaining that it would pretty much take away the pain and enable me to rest, she said she thought it would be a good idea, so I said I wanted one. Waiting for the epidural to be organised and the anesthetist to become available was the worst time because everything was getting stronger and worse - I was at the point of shouting and crying through contractions due to the back pain and telling Chris it's going to kill me. The gas did nothing, like absolutely nothing. Because it was doing nothing I kept stopping taking it but was told by everyone there to keep breathing it. So I did. I think because it gave me something to focus on and make me keep breathing.

Getting the epidural in place during the contractions was soooooo hard. I had to be in a horrible position on my side and keep still through the contractions - wow, what an ask! It took a while, but once the epidural took effect it pretty much took away the contraction pain but the back pain was still there, slightly eased, but still really bad. After an hour more of painful back contractions (pretty much didn't notice the actual contraction pain anymore at all) the anesthetist was called back in, they tested the block and explained that I wasn't getting the coverage I should have been from it. Sheesh - I didn't really need telling! They topped it up and we waited for that to take effect - it was heaps better. I still had bad back pain but it was handleable. Thank god!!! At 5:30pm Gill checked me again and I was 10cm - fully dilated! Yay! Although the baby was nowhere near where it should be, argh! At one stage the babys heart was doing some dicky things which concerned Gill a little and another Dr came in to look at the chart and then decided to come back in 10 minutes to see how things were doing. Gill said if it continued we'd have to get the baby out via emergency caesarean. But when the Dr came back it had all settled down again and the contractions had slowed down as well. After a few more hours they picked up again and when they'd been around 3-4 minutes apart for quite some time Gill said I should start pushing to try to move this baby down.

The pushing started, it was so difficult and tiring. After about an hour or so Gill asked if it felt like I was pushing my baby down with the contractions and my answer was "Not at all!". I was getting tired and it really didn't feel like it was doing anything. Gill then turned the epidural back to half of what it had been on - I'm thinking now that she thought I couldn't feel anything. Though I actually meant that the baby didn't feel like it was moving down at all. Anyway once this took effect my back got much worse again. Chris was amazing throughout all of this, putting pressure on my back when I needed it (I know it would have been killing his hands after a while) and really supporting me wonderfully, telling me how well I was doing and encouraging me through the pushing. Gill disappeared a few times and then told me that a Dr would come in an examine me, I knew that it ending in emergency c-section was a possibility and I'd told Gill that I would be fine with it, I'd gone into labour, I'd tried and done everything I could. Well the Dr examined me through a contraction and afterwards she said that there's no way this baby is going to be born vaginally and it would have to be caesarean. I cried. I didn't expect to feel so disappointed, I knew it may happen and I thought I was fine. But I wasn't, it was so disappointing, after all of that and then it still couldn't happen. I got so close to having the birth I wanted, but it just didn't happen. I lay there and said "Ok" as the tears streamed down my face. Chris was stroking my hair and telling me I did amazingly and that I did all I could. I just nodded and silently cried. He lent down and hugged me as the Dr and Gill went about the business of organising the emergency caesarean.

It seemed to take forever for this to be arranged and the whole time the contractions were coming really hard and fast and everything in me was telling me to keep pushing, but everyone around me was telling me not to push and just breath through the contractions. That was so hard. I was in agony again by now and totally unplugged from all the drugs. Shortly I was again crying through the contractions and saying "My back! My back! It's going to kill me". It was a horrible journey in the bed to the operating room, a haze of moving corridors and incredible pain. Again I was amazed at all the people in the room (as I was with Caelan) and they were pretty quick at getting the epidural into me and up to the right level of no feeling. Thank god! I think it took around half an hour to get this up to the right level though because it had apparently pretty much totally worn off - no wonder I was dying again. We were told that it would take longer as they were dealing with an already scarred uterus etc.

Well it sure did take a very long time and shortly after I was told that all the cuts had been made and they were about to get the babies head out, things changed. There were a lot of horrible pulling sensations and awful feelings, I was told that my babies head was nearly out, more really ugly feelings, then they said the body was getting pulling out now. I heard the cry and immediately I cried and smiled. My baby. It's such an amazing feeling hearing that first cry. I was being told that it was a beautiful baby and had lots of hair. I was then asked if I'd like to know what it was and I said I'd like Chris to tell me. I was dying to know and he wasn't telling me, I was lying there hearing that cry with tears running down my face. I heard Chris ask if it was a girl and then Gill was holding the baby and walking past me, as she held the baby in front of me but it wasn't low enough and I still couldn't see. "What is it?" I asked and Chris turned from the table where they were checking the baby and said "A girl!". He was no longer a person, he was just a smile. A huge walking smile. I watched him and cried. The feeling of love I felt for him as I watched him looking at her with such joy was amazing. I lay there watching him with a big smile as the tears were getting wiped from my face for me. We had a girl. A little girl. Our little girl.

It was quite a while later that I realised the feeling in there had changed from being pretty relaxed to very tense and urgent feeling. Gill went from being normal to very concerned and looking worried, she started asking me if I was ok a lot more and holding my hand or rubbing my arm or head. She was asking Chris if he was alright a lot as well and rubbing his hand or arm. It struck me as kinda weird as I thought she would have seen all of this a lot, why is she so concerned. I nearly asked if something had happened and turned to look at the girlie that was always by my left shoulder explaining what was happening. But she wasn't there, she'd appeared suddenly and put more drugs in and looked kinda worried too while telling me that it will make the pulling sensation I might be feeling go away. I was feeling like I could vomit again and was given something for that. Chris was soon next to me with our little girl snuggled up on his chest having skin to skin. I couldn't see her well but it was wonderful to look at her being held so close to Chris. It felt nice to know that she was bonding straight away with him seeing as though she couldn't be put straight on the boob. After a while Gill came over and put her on me against my face - that was awesome, she was too close to see but I was able to talk to her and kiss her. After a while I thought I was gonna vomit on her so she was taken off, that wouldn't have been a good welcome to the world! I was given more drugs for the nausea. As I lay there I thought I heard from their hushed talkings something about my uterus and tearing. Though I wasn't sure and was going to ask again what had happened but I couldn't see anyone to ask and got distracted by our little girl. It took a very long time for them to stitch me up but when it was finally done we headed down to recovery.

Gill put our little girl on my breast and she started suckling immediately. What a clever girl!!! After so long as well and she just knew what to do. I was so worried that she wouldn't know after Caelan, but she was great. Then the surgeon came in and explained that there had been complications and when they were trying to get her head up and out my uterus had torn down the left hand side as had my cervix and top of my vagina. She explained that she stitched these up as best she could and she was happy with the job she'd done, though due to the nature of the tearing and where it was not all of it could be stitched and that hopefully these will bind and heal themselves. There was concern that they'd nicked my left kidney as well and I would need a scan on Thursday to check the status of my left kidney and bladder. It was weird listening to all of this being explained to me and thinking 'Wow, this sounds serious and it all just happened to me while I was awake and here I am hearing about it all'. It was odd, we were told a Doctor would come to see me in the morning and answer any questions and go over the implications this has on subsequent pregnancies. When she finished explaining everything that had gone wrong, Chris asked if it was serious and she said if things dont heal properly then it could be serious. I asked how this would effect recovery and if it would be longer because of the tearing, she said that it wouldn't, it would be the same 6 weeks recovery as a normal c-section but I would be in a lot more pain initially (christ she wasn't wrong!!!! The pain was incredible!). She explained that I would need a check up in 12 weeks and again in 6 months. I thanked her and off she went. We were soon taken up to our room and I was able to feed Siahn properly. We have our little girl! That's the end of kids for us now after all that drama unfortunately, so we're soooo thankful that we got our girl, we have one of each and that's pretty damned lucky.

Siahn Anahera Clark
13 May 2008
10:06pm
3.77kg
54cm

Here are photos of her extraction :) I found out afterwards that my uterus was outside my body for over an hour while they located and mended the rest of the tearing. Gill was horrified by it all, she'd never seen it be taken out of the body before, let alone for so long! You can see my uterus sitting there in one of the photos - so weird to look at your organs outside of your body!

Best friends and the overstayer ;)

2008-05-09T12:10:00.003+12:00

This is Caelan and George walking through the gardens on Wednesday, they're so adorable together. Last time we left their house after a visit Caelan said in the car "George makes me happy" with a big smile on his face. Sooooo lovely, he loves his George.

And though it might be cute to have a record of the overdue ticker of this bubba. hehe

It's a tumor, it really is

2008-05-07T13:40:00.002+12:00

Well - obviously, there is still not bubba and no sign of one coming ANYTIME soon. Had to go in to be hooked up the monitor yesterday to check the baby and everything is fine there, so that's good. Then it was time for the dreaded stretch and sweep - which sounds truly revolting. I'd prepared myself for this, since she offered last Friday to perform one on the spot - you can't do that lady! One needs to mentally prepared for a hand being shoved up one's gynie infront of their 2 year old!! Not to mention be looking pretty and to at least have some make-up on! hehe So I politely declined saying that I would have one next week once I have mentally prepared. Soooo I prepared myself mentally, and physically - which again involved numerous mirrors at different angles! What a feat!!! I tell ya, I'm pretty bloody proud of myself and all looked delightfully respectable down there after the rather difficult maneuvers. Legs even got shaved for the first time in Christ knows how long - lovely jubbly! I dressed real pretty for my special date, put some Chanel No.5 on, did my make-up real nice and headed off for my gynie poking.

So the baby was great and everything looked fantastic - yay! Then she asked me to take my undies off, ewww, here it comes. It was a dreadful experience and the worst thing about it was I went through all that indignity for NOTHING! My cervix is the highly unfavourable. I don't know what the hell that means, but apparently there's a level between 1 and 8, with 8 being the most favourable and ready. Well mine was a 0. She found the cervix and my naughty uncooperative 0 leveled cervix didn't want to know about the exercise or house work - no stretch and sweep for me thanks ladies hand, get on your merry way and leave me alone! So she couldn't do anything. The end.

Before she did that she asked if the baby felt nice and low and I told her it didn't, I'd told her last time I saw her that two days before I noticed it had really moved up, though she said it felt ok and quite far down. Well during the poking she said that the babies head isn't anywhere near down there, it's very high and not at all where it should be. Felt like saying "TOLD YOU SO, GOH!!!!" and I pretty much did, but in a less childish way. hehe I said "Yeah I didn't think it was, I had felt uncomfortable and like it was really low for a few days and then really noticed it was much higher as I mentioned, and never got back to that low uncomfortable feeling". Sheesh - I know what I can feel lady! She said she doesn't think the baby will make an appearance any time soon and I said I didn't either - she said she can't see it happening for another week and a half at least. I don't know what I think but it's certainly not anytime soon, I know that much.

She told me that at my Specialist appointment this afternoon I have to be certain about what I want and tell him that - which I would do anyway. Basically this appointment is about deciding to book an induction or c-section, I asked her if I'd be able to wait another week before doing that and she said to ask and see what the specialist says after the scan. If there is an issue with liquid then we'll have to book something to get it out, but she thinks if there isn't any issue and the Specialist thinks it's ok then I may be able to buy more time. This is what I'd like to do. Chris is coming to the appointment again and we're going to talk to him regarding our concerns about induction and why we have those concerns, based on experiences we know about. We want to hear what he's got to say. My midwife thinks that because I really want a VBAC (vaginal birth after caesarean) that it would be such a shame to have to book another c-section without trying induction. She just reiterated that from the first time we met I told her that's what I really want and this might be the only way I get it. So Chris is prepared to talk about it now which is a good thing, he really wants a "normal" experience of labour and birth too, but is incredibly worried and scared. It just sucks that the two people we know firsthand who have had labour experiences after c-section have ended really badly, one the worst with baby dying and the other a rupture but thankfully nothing happened to the baby as the surgeon had already made the incision and the baby popped out through that rather than into her stomach cavity. So it is pretty scary stuff but we'll talk to him and listen, then decide.

Caelan - well he's just great! We went for a lovely walk around the Botanic Gardens with Maria and George and he's still sleeping now. Lovely stuff! Will have to wake him soon to get ready for appointment. All's going really well with him though, he's pretty whingy and cries a lot at the moment though. Cries and wants a lot of cuddles - which is nice but can get VERY tiring, the crying thing for no reason especially. He'll come up to me crying for no reason and asking for a cuddle, if I'm trying to do something or get us ready to go out I explain to him that I can't right now and I'll give him a cuddle soon, well it's all on from there. Hopefully this needy crying phase ends soon cause I just can't see it working so well with a needy crying newborn who has no choice but to be just that. Hopefully it is just a phase or related to his last molars that were showing through a while ago, but have disappeared again. That's that for now.

Still no bubba

2008-05-03T16:16:00.002+12:00

We're playing the waiting game, whilst putting pushy specialists and their talk of c-section off! hehe All is going well though, I'm feeling ok. Well aside from the constant bloody pain I'm in of course! I'm getting pretty tired of that, gets to ya being in so much pain constantly I tell ya! Saw midwife on Friday again, she spoke briefly of induction again but I'd told her last week that we didn't want to go down that path and I just confirmed that with her again. Chris is DEAD against it and I'm not that happy myself due to the extra risk it brings, so it's not an option for us. It may have been something that I might have considered, even though the risks of rupture are higher, had we not known of someone first hand with exactly the same situation as ours, end in the worst way possible. Their first baby was breech and had to be c-section with no labour before hand (like Caelan), she was told that this baby was larger than average but was given the option of induction at 41 weeks, which she took because, like me, she was desperate for a natural birth. Her uterus ruptured at the previous scar site, the baby went through the rupture into her stomach cavity and died there during labour. She also nearly died, was very, very sick and has had numerous operations to try to fix up her uterus. There is now no guarantee that she will ever get pregnant again and if she can, they're not sure whether she'd be able to hold a baby in her uterus. Sooooo very sad. Poor, poor people. So due to that (although we knew there was a higher risk anyway), just knowing people first hand makes it that much more real. So it's just not an option for us - perhaps if I had laboured previously or if this baby wasn't large... who knows. But with everything as it is, all pointing to a higher risk of rupture, it's just no go thanks very much. The next specialist appointment is on Wednesday, my midwife wanted on sooner but there wasn't one available, which is good! Cause that's just buying me more time for it to happen in the meantime. I'll be having another scan then to check the liquid around the baby and everything else, then we'll talk about the plan and options again. That's that on this baby that doesn't wanna come out!

Caelan's really good, he's pretty much over his cold now. Still kinda boogery, but nothing too bad, the cough has pretty much gone now too which is super duper good. He's just sooooo lovely and clever and funny. He comes up with the most amazing things. The other day he sat down in his little armchair in his room and told me that he's sitting in his thinking chair to think, think, thiiiiiink - with the last "think" sung. It was soooooo cute! It happens on Blues Clues (one of his favourite things in the entire universe to watch) and he just picked it up from there and copied, singing the song and doing the cute actions. He's lovely - so clever, bossy and adorable. He'll have a hard time getting used to the new baby at the start. Makes us sad to think about it, but he'll be fine.

He went for his 2 year Plunket check-up on Wednesday and is 93cm tall and 16.6kg - his weight was really surprising considering he'd lost so much when sick. And what was even more surprising was that he was off the chart with his weight. He's not even chubby or anything - that's just odd that he'd be off the chart. He was still on the chart with height but right along the top where he'd always been. Apparently if you double the height they are at 2 years old, that's the height they'll be as an adult - if that's the case he'll be 6ft 1.1in. Be interesting to see if that works out being the case. We always thought he'd be taller than that so we'll see.

yawn What a time!

2008-04-22T09:19:00.003+12:00

Things haven't been the best for us, Caelan had this horrid stomach thing for just over two weeks, samples have been sent off for testing so I hope like heck they find something. He's still not feeling 100% but is sooooo much better. We think it was a virus to start with that then got bad because his stomach is damaged anyway from the reflux and/or celiac. Soooo after we have the results from those tests I think it's about time he get the blood test for celiac disease as well so we know for sure if he's got it as well. We know the reflux is still a problem but I feel like this may be as well, it would make sense anyway with me having it and celiac suffers will have reflux problems as well. So better test and then we know.

Sleeping has been CRAP due to vomiting all the time at night and being so sick for so long and now it's still really bad. We think it may be a habit now after the sickness, but it's hard to tell because he's really snotty now and has a croaky voice so he could actually be feeling bad with a cold. Either way - it SUCKS! We all had pretty much no sleep last night because he cried the whole time, he would cry for an hour or so, then sleep for half an hour to an hour before waking and crying again for ages. It would take SOOOOOO long to settle him and then it would seem like we'd just get to sleep after it and he was crying again. We gave up and bought him into bed with us at around 4am because it was too hard, he finally stopped crying and went to sleep just after 5am sometime. So at least we got two hours sleep then. Argh - I feel dreadful, Caelan is super tired and grumpy and I just spoke with Chris and he's struggling at work. This IS NOT what we need right before the baby is born, and the worst thing is it'll still be happening once the baby is born. He's so hard to "fix" once he's broke like this. Then I'd say he'll have at least a night with Chris' parents when I'm having the baby, unless it all happens nice and quickly during the day and he can come home that night with Chris and in an ideal world, me and the baby :) Otherwise it's longer crap nights, for some reason when ever he stays there he comes back bung in the sleep department. Not that we think it's anything to do with him being there, it's just that's the only place he stays away from home. We think it just must be the being away from home that does it to him. He doesn't make having a break easy! Evil boy!!! LOL

This baby... well when I saw the midwife last Friday she was concerned about the size, thinking it's going to be too dangerous to birth it naturally at full term at the rate it's growing. The risk of rupturing my scar is too high she thinks, considering my uterus is "un-tried" (i.e. no contractions or labour before) and all that pressure is too risky. So she said we need to get this baby out as soon as possible, she gave me some natural get-it-started remedy which I took the first lot of on Friday and will take the next lot soon. It started a whole lot of movement but that's about it really. It's all getting pretty stressful because we have soooooo much to do, for the last two weekends we've been out doing fencing and stuff which has caused some pretty intense pain, but then once I'm resting at night it eases. Not really things I should be doing at this stage but it's just so hard because it's things we need to do and things we can't do with Caelan around so we have to make the most of the time that Chris' parents want him - so that means going crazy as soon as he's away.

We had heaps to do last weekend which was causing major stress and freak-outs from me after the midwife appointment and knowing that this baby really needs to come now to get the natural birth or even just a labour that I so desperately want. Thankfully wonderful Maria and Sean offered to help out and have Caelan over to play with George on Saturday afternoon and we got two fences done really quickly (we did them at warp speed!) and some clearing out in the back paddock so the horses didn't hurt themselves which was good. Freakin' sore for me and giving Chris a heart attack to see me dragging heavy posts etc around the paddock, but if it has to be done, it has to be done right? There's still a billion things to do, it sucks trying to do things with a toddler around - you just can't do it. But this morning as I talked about all the things we still have left to do Chris' Mum offered to have Caelan on Friday so that will be great. It just sucks not having family around for things like this - it would be so much easier if I had family around to take him while we get things done. Last week was a HORRIBLE week, with Caelan and us having been sick for so long, very little sleep for too long, way to much stress about everything we have to do and not being able to do it, no money, the baby coming real soon, natural birth slipping further away etc. - it was a horrible, majorly stressful time that totally exploded for the last half of the week. But being able have that space on Saturday (thanks Maria and Sean - you are wonderful!!!!!) to go crazy and get things done really helped out. Chris and I were finally talking again and not screaming at each other after that - yay! They made us dinner (an amazing dinner) for when we picked him up so we didn't have to think about feeding ourselves - yay for them!!!! Then Chris' parents wanted Caelan for the afternoon on Sunday which was great, so we got more done, finished the paddock and did some more clearing out, moved the horses in and then were able to start on the baby's room (if you can call it that!). I felt like I could breath a little easier, things had been way too much for us for a while and were really getting ontop of me in my emotional, hormonal state, but after being able to make a start on the things we need to get done before the baby is born it's feeling a little better. Still majorly scary and stressful when I think about things too much, like what we still have to do and buy, the ever mounting bills, the state of our hideously overdrawn account... and the list goes on so I just wont think about it!!! But at least we we able to get a lot done last weekend and that feels better and we are able to look forward to getting more done on Friday. YAY!

Anyway... ramble! Must have needed to get that out! hehehe I see the midwife again on Thursday and we'll discuss the plan further, in the meantime I'll be doing all I can to get things started before then! There is the option of induction but she said the risk of rupture goes up even more then due to the nature and force of the contractions they give. Chris is not keen on doing anything that is going to be more risky. So we'll see what Thursday brings. We had the magic dinner last night that is supposed to bring on labour and so far nothing! hehe Though like any of these things they will work if you're ready, but if you're not, you're just not and neither is the baby. But it wont hurt to try right?!?

So much vomit!

2008-04-15T08:05:00.003+12:00

It all started last Tuesday, the day after his birthday. Caelan had a relatively normal day, had still been complaining of a sore tummy every now and then but things seemed like they'd been fine and moved on from the feverish tummy bug. He had dinner and got ready for bed as usual, went to sleep easily and woke after just over an hour of sleeping crying strangely. Usually if he wakes crying we'll leave him for 10 or so minutes to see if he'll settle himself, but this cry wasn't normal - he sounded really sad. Chris went in and I heard him say "Oh Buddy...", for some reason I knew he'd vomited. I went in and his room reeked, he'd spewed everywhere through his bed and all over himself in his sleep. Poor boy, he was so sad and feeling so horrible. We cleaned him up and then I sat with him in our bed while Chris cleaned up and changed his bed. Poor little kid sat cuddling me crying and feeling horrible, with the vomit coming every 15 minutes. It was horrible and I just wanted it to stop - he felt so dreadful. After a while he stopped crying in between vomiting but would cry again as he obviously felt more sick just before, he would cry and say "I'm sick" and then he'd be heaving again. This 15 minute vomiting continued on till 4am, he got to the stage where he was asleep propped in our bed between us and when the crying in his sleep would start, we'd lean him forward to vomit and then he'd cry and whimper some more before falling back onto the pillows asleep again. So sad to watch. But after 4am it ended so we put him back to bed, leaving the door open to hear him.

We took him to the Doctor the next day with him spewing all over himself and the car on the way there, were told it's a virus and should be gone within 24 to 48 hours. We got some more paracetamol and some pedialyte to replace the fluids (but he hates it and wont drink it!). The vomit continued, and continued and continued - never as frequent as it started but it was every day never the less (sometimes more, sometimes only a few times) and every night in his sleep. We thought he'd had his last episode on Saturday night in his sleep because he had a much better Sunday than he'd had since it started. He wasn't crying and saying he had a sore tummy and finally ate - he had a small breakfast, small lunch and small dinner - WAHOOO!!!! He pretty much hasn't been eating since having it, only eats a tiny amount of something once a day, we'd been really careful with what he'd been eating, no milk the whole time etc, nothing too rich, nothing that would upset an already upset tum etc. and has lost soooooo much weight. Makes us so sad. His nappies that he'd nearly outgrown now fit him easily again, his clothes are lose and he feels really small and light. Sucks - he was weighed when he went in to the Doctor after the first night of vomit and he was 17kg, I'd say he's nowhere near that now. Poor little kid. At least he wasn't skinny to begin with, otherwise he'd really be suffering now.

Anyway, it isn't over as we'd hoped. Chris' Mum wanted him for the day yesterday and on Sunday night I said that he'd been better but I'd like to see what he night was like and that I'd let her know in the morning. Anyway after his good night on Sunday night I felt ok about him going for the day yesterday. But I was silly and didn't say not to give milk - when we spoke to him in the evening we learned how silly I was to not mention it! He'd had a big glass of milk after not eating much dinner, so I explained the type of cry he does if he spews in his sleep because I was certain it would happen after the milk, we asked if she could call us if it happened cause we wanted to go there to be with him, sure enough he spewed in his sleep again last night, poor little boy. We got the call at around 1am after he was back in bed and asleep though, so we lay there worrying about him, then I got annoyed with Chris' snoring as I lay there unable to sleep for pretty much the rest of the night. My poor, poor little boy. I spoke to him this morning and it made me cry when he said he loves me. I just wish he wasn't sick. It's not fair to be this sick for so long fuck it.

2 years old today!

2008-04-07T13:57:00.004+12:00

Where has two years gone???? It's crazy to think that we have a two year old little boy - but the proof is "right here", as he says "I'm right here Mama" patting his chest when I call him. He really is the most amazing little thing, he astounds me every day with what he knows and his amazing nature and delightful personality. I'm so proud to say I'm his mother and it makes my heart smile when he says "I love you Mama". He truly is a lovely, lovely little boy.

We had a quiet day at home yesterday after the crazy birthday party, we did some painting - that ended up with the three of us being painted. Caelan thought it was great fun to paint Mama and Daddy, while we painted him!

He started today with a special birthday hot chocolate drink with his weetbix this morning and had a lovely morning with Lily who came to play with him for his birthday till just after lunch. What a nice day for him!

Oh here's a pic of some of the kids playing on the trampoline at his birthday party and then some of painting yesterday and birthday breakfast today, then playing with Lily.

Birthday party madness

2008-04-06T14:21:00.004+12:00

Caelan's birthday party was yesterday and we had 15 toddlers here. It was chaos! But they all had a great time, Caelan had so much fun having all his friends here. We'd bought 100 balloons and had most of them on the trampoline - which was the star attraction. We also had the sandpit, plane swing, other swing, all of Caelan's bikes plus the bigger toys we hired - a sit on digger, two kid spinning ride, rocking 3 kid alligator and slide. There certainly wasn't a lack of fun things to do. In our stressful rush leading up to it (lordy, lordy it sure was stressful!) we didn't get a lot of things done - we'd planned to have Caelan's double tent with adjoining tunnel set up outside but didn't, there was food we didn't do as well (though there certainly wasn't a shortage of food!!! The kids just weren't really interested in eating, it was all about playing) and one of the activities (decorating cookie pig faces to take home) didn't happen - perhaps we'll make them and put them into the already named bags and post them as a thank you. Chris and I are both still sick with a virus so felt horrible the whole day and my back and pelvis pain was just killing me. I swear if there wasn't people around, sometimes I would have been screaming or crying in pain! Due to us not feeling the best taking photos or video footage just didn't happen. Which is a real bummer, but never mind - we got a few but it would have been great to get some of all the kids playing and going crazy. We got a few of cake time and pressies though, so at least that's something.

The cake was a huge success though I've gotta say! We were sooooo happy with the end result - we thought the cat cake from last year would surely make any other cake we made a disappointment in our eyes. But no! We were so happy with this years too and he loved it. We were up till 2am doing the cake and blowing up balloons and other stuff we could do while Caelan slept. Then it was swimming first thing in the morning, luckily we were able to drop him off to Chris' parents after swimming so we had a couple of hours to do more of the preparations. He was dropped home after lunch and we had heaps to do while he slept... But he had a different story! He was not sleeping! He screamed for a while and then played for a bit in his room before deciding to scream again - we gave up and got him up at about 2pm. I was ready to cry/kill/run away/vomit/die at this stage and a 2 years olds birthday party with a million people was the LAST thing I wanted - but it wasn't about me.

He loved it so much that this morning he went running to the door shouting excitedly "Birthday party! Birthday party", he looked out over the deserted party-lands with all the toys and balloons and got sad. He looked up at me nearly crying and sobbed "People for my birthday party???..." and I told him that his birthday party was yesterday and it's finished now. He didn't like this and his voice cracked with the threat of a huge break-down "All the people come birthday party". Poor, funny little boy. Whenever the dogs have barked today he runs to the french doors exclaiming "Everybody's here! Everybody's here now!" looking at the gate. So he had a wonderful time and loved his birthday party.

Nappy is for sleep time only

2008-04-01T17:17:00.003+13:00

He's doing so well with the toilet training, the only time he wears a nappy is for sleeping. He's bare-bummed the whole day and just takes himself to the toilet whenever he needs to go and shouts excited for me to look. It's so great! We then go through a ritual of emptying the potty into the toilet and he flushes, then he choses a treat from the treat jar. This sits on top of the microwave so he can see it all the time and be reminded that when he goes to the toilet in the toilet or potty he gets a treat. We haven't had one accident at all. It's awesome! So the next step is to move to undies only, then undies and pants over the top. We'll keep doing what we've been doing for another week and then move on I reckon.

He had such a horrible night last night, woke at 2am screaming oddly and was burning up. Horrendous fever, like fire to touch and he was shaking and twitching. So scary. We took his jarmies off and put wet flannels all over him to cool him down. Finally got pamol into him when he calmed enough and he got a bit better, his temperature was just over 40 by then and he wasn't shaking or twitching as much. We'd gotten dressed and were gonna take him to hospital, but then he got happier and seemed a bit better, even though he was still really hot, at about 4am he asked to go back to bed. So I put him in bed with just a nappy on and lay in bed listening to his fitful, whimpering and moaning sleep with lots of sleep talking, he slept for about an hour before waking crying again. He came back into bed to sit with us and get more flannels and cold water, really not happy and still hot, he then asked to go back to bed at about 7am or just after. When he woke at 8:30am he was crying, shaking and twitching again but not as hot - took him to the Dr and temp had gone down to just over 39. Dr couldn't find anything else wrong with him - apart from the fever. He hasn't had runny poos, was totally fine and happy all yesterday, doesn't have a cold, ears fine, throat fine. Anyway we got more drugs to get the fever down and the Dr said to get him a iceblock straight away to try to get the fever down more. He's not interested in eating anything and is horribly pale, like a ghost and mottled looking. But he ate half the iceblock and the paracetamol and ibuprofen have made him feel much better. Really not himself though - he looks horrible, real pale and eyes look awful. Makes me so sad. So we had a hideous night here and are all VERY tired. Hopefully that's the end of it and he has a better sleep tonight.

Photos...

2008-03-27T14:51:00.005+13:00

Ginger bread rabbits Caelan decorated at the Easter Egg hunt day he went to in the weekend.

Finding his first Easter egg at the hunt.

Ooohhhh there's another one!

Hhmmmm, how do I get outta here?

Caelan's first real chocolate easter bunny from Makere, John and Lenni - he only ate the ears before a panicking Mama took it off him! hehe

Oooohhhhh and the braxton hicks I had after all that work... I told my midwife about them the following day and she looked at me in what looked like a combination of shock, anger and disbelief and promptly told me that they weren't braxton hicks, it was in fact a whole lot of uterine action and mild contractions from doing too much. She asked what I'd done in the weekend and couldn't believe it when I told her, I was told off and told to TAKE IT EASY! If I don't I will bring on labour and I don't want that do I?!?! No thank you. But it's all very well for her to say, she's not the one that has sooooo much to do it's just not funny. But I will try to slow down and make sure I don't push myself like that again.

YIPPEEEEE!!

2008-03-25T11:12:00.001+13:00

Well he's been back an hour now and has gone wee wees on the potty twice. HORRAY! What a clever little boy.

He did poos in the potty! He did poos in the potty!

2008-03-25T09:22:00.003+13:00

Yes siree Bob!! It was such an exciting time and he did it all by himself! I was doing the dishes, Chris was in the laundry and Caelan was playing in his room. He then called out to me "I push out wee wees on the potty Mama!", I went in to him and he was sitting on the potty, I asked him if he did a wee wee and he said "Yes!" really happily, I then smelled poos and asked him if he did a poo poo too and he answered "Yes I did!" proudly. I was soooooooo excited and happy and oh so proud. Chris rushed in with all the excitement and we had a big happy, excited time over it together. So cool! He took himself to the potty and did one's and two's all by himself!!! What a good clever little boy.

It was such a shame that we were so busy with painting and stuff because that would have been a great moment to really focus on it and keep it going, but as we had all the painting to do and he was going to grandma and granddad's for the day it had to get left for the rest of the weekend. It would have been great if we didn't have any plans and we could have just stayed home and gotten the toilet training fully sorted. We've been doing it for a while but not intensively because his interest wasn't always there and he didn't want to do it, but obviously after all the time of sitting on it and the toilet and us always talking about it and reading him his big boy book about going to the toilet/potty - he's ready and it happened. YAY!!!! So happy and proud :)

I had braxton hicks for the first time last night. It was so odd but nice - I really liked it because I didn't get any of them or the usual stuff with Caelan. After such a long, hard weekend of full-on work, we got into bed at about 12am after putting all the furniture back in the freshly painted room and it all started. It wasn't like tightening that some people have said they experienced it was more like really intense period pain low down which lasted about 30-60 seconds and then would ease off, then come back again after a few minutes. I immediately thought 'Cool, braxton hicks', but then did think 'Shit, hope I haven't pushed myself too hard over the weekend and bought on labour!' hehe But as I'm sitting here typing, obviously it wasn't the case!

It's so cool to have all the "normal" stuff this time round, really happy that this one is playing the game. Though I did get worried at the end of last week and think it had turned back - I went to lean forward and had a huge round thing under my ribs again. It really felt like a head, but there were a lot of big movements going on so could have been something else. Or it went back again - because it's definitely head down again now. I'm feeling really exhausted and sore after that weekend though. I'm in agony in my lower back and pubic region, bloody Symphysis Pubis Dysfunction!!!! Damn it to hell! It's quite different to when I had it with Caelan, the pain was mainly in my back with him, but this time around it's mainly in the front and WOW! talk about FREAKIN' sore!! I'll talk to the midwife about it today, she said to tell her when it got much worse and over the last two weeks it's gonna so much worse. I don't think my lack of taking it easy and putting my feet up and staying off my feet when possible as she said last time is helping. Opsy - but we've just got too much to do, it's just not possible. So due to doing the exact opposite to what I should have been doing all weekend, I'm in total agony now. After the first day of painting it was so intense that I couldn't focus on anything and had problems seeing. Last night - I wanted to cry when I walked. Ohhhh I think my boy is home - yay!! Gotta go now, I miss him so much when he's not here.

He woke up 32 this morning

2008-03-10T13:54:00.008+13:00

Well so he reckons anyway! That was the first thing he said to me as soon as I went into his room this morning. He cried, I got out of bed, opened his door saying "Good morning", as soon as he saw me he said "I woke up 32!" I laughed asked "Did you?", "Yes. I woke up 32" he replied nodding seriously. Funny little kid. So before he's even turned 2 he's 32! hehe

He's still got his horrible hacking cough - over five months now. We hate it, it's so horrible to listen to him having these huge coughing fits every night. It sucks, we've gone a full circle! Started off with natural remedies - didn't work, tried a humidifier with eucalyptus oil - didn't work, antibiotics - didn't work, asthma medication, twice daily flixotide and ventolin as needed - did work. We're now back at square one - nothing worked at all. The poor little boy just coughs his guts out a billion times a night. It's not fair. So I'm going to look into different natural remedies, I have a naturopath friend who mentioned something that I'll try. Also, chronic cough in kids is sometimes caused by reflux so that's something to consider and get the doctor to look into more if we still get nowhere.

But aside from that he real good. Everything is going so well, he absolutely loving swimming and getting more used to Jo (the instructor) and having the other kids around him. Such a shy wee boy! He closes up heaps when anyone comes close to him and just clings to Chris, when he's given his space he's swimming and doing all the things he should. It's nice to see that getting a little better.

Well not long to go and he'll have a brother or sister and there's super good news on that front - the baby is now head down!!!!!! So excited and happy about this. We had to have a scan this morning to check the position and WAHOO it's head down. Super duper exciting. So this time I'll get a go at labour and birth as it should be - super cool! It's made me so happy because the prospect of having all our kids and not knowing what a contraction even feels like, let alone the rest of it was so sad to me. Now I get a turn too! LOL I'll probably hate it but at least I get a turn :)

First hair cut

2008-02-27T13:28:00.005+13:00

Caelan's FINALLY had his first haircut!!!! Talk about hair that doesn't like to grow, it's all my fault of course, cause Chris' grows like weeds! Mine never grows - so unfortunately for him, he's gotten this off me. But he's had his first hair cut now, if you can really call it that! hehe The fringe was only slightly cut as it had been annoying him and falling in his eyes for a while, so I cut it a teeny tiny amount. Didn't do a straight across cut though cause I really, really don't like that! Just combed it down and held it between my fingers and cut up the strands rather than across them. He looks kinda funny, but I'm sure nobody else apart from us would even notice, nobody has said anything about it and he's seen a few people since we did it. I pointed it out to Maria this morning and she only noticed it then, so can't look as funny as we think! It just looks a little short and odd to us, but probably cause we were used to looking at it too long. Poor boy, but now he doesn't have to push it out of his eyes all the time.

He is absolutely LOVING the trampoline - it's his favourite thing in the whole world. So cute! It's an awesome thing to do a couple of times a day, he and I will play on it during the day and then him and Daddy play when Daddy gets home. Heapsa fun!

Me and Joe when he visited a couple of weeks ago. He's sooooo cool!!!

Wearing Mama's hat.

Showing George how to play Ring Around The Rosy - I'm sneezing here, can you tell??

Jumping with George.

George having fun.

George and Amia (that's how I say Maria cause I can't do it so well right now) playing on my swing.

Back to swimming

2008-02-14T16:45:00.007+13:00

Yep Caelan's gone back to swimming - with Granddad and Grandma Clark's sponsorship. Thanks! :) A woman that used to take her daughter to Caelan's playgroup (before our time) has started up a private swim school called Blue Waves. She came in once to let us know what she offered and a bit about her facilities etc - sounded really good so we're taking Caelan there now. We loved where we used to take him but now we're living out here, the trip to Greenlane every Saturday would suck! Literally, the petrol consumption would be terrifying.

Blue Waves is great, the facilities are under their house, the pool is just as big and heated to the same level, they've got more changing rooms and space to get the kids ready. She has more classes available on a Saturday morning (whereas the only one on a Saturday was at 11am which was a pain) and we're in the 8:30am class so we still have a full day after swimming. It's great - there were only two kids at the first class of the term on Saturday, perhaps people don't want the earlier class because there were way more arriving for the next class as we were finishing up. It was great and Caelan loved it, he was really happy to be swimming again, although his shyness made things a little difficult! He would have really struggled with a big busy class now that he's older and much, much more shy.

Things are going really well, no problems at all with the move to a big bed and it's all just normal now. Yesterday he even had a sleep at a friends place in their spare double bed and there wasn't a problem, so all really good there. The toilet training is still going, he's still not showing that much interest, or he does and asks to sit on the toilet and then gets upset and says no. So we're taking it slowly and we'll get there when he's ready. I'm sure there are more things to say but I just can't think! LOL Bloody pregnancy stealing what was left of my brain. hehe

The pregnancy is going well, this baby is still breech as well but there's still time. I'm hoping with all my might it turns. I just really want to have a labour and natural birth. It'll be so strange and really sad for me to have completed our family and not have experienced any labour, not know what a contraction feels like or any of that. I know there are women out there who'll think that's mad - but hey, they've probably had the choice or experience! :)

Riding Butterscotch with Mama and the Bubba in the puku.

Happily reading my book on the toilet.

Some privacy please!

Hanging out on my bike at the park.

Wetting Daddy at swimming.

About to throw the ball to Daddy.

Sooooo much fun.

Bare bum artist.

Big bed

2008-01-23T10:05:00.000+13:00

Here are some photos of Caelan's big bed, taken this morning.

Big boy in a big bed

2008-01-22T13:30:00.000+13:00

Caelan's moved to a big boy's bed and it's gone so well. He's been in it since Saturday and there hasn't been a problem with the transition at all. YAY! What a clever kid. He thinks it's really cool and loves his bed - which is super cute to hear him say "Caelan's bed! Cooooool bed!".

Along with the big bed we've been focusing a little more on toilet training and although he hasn't actually gone on the toilet yet, he's sat there a lot and is getting used to it. He's not that keen, so if he really, really doesn't want to we don't do it. Don't wanna put him off completely, we're keeping it up and talking about it lots while trying to keep it as fun and positive as we can. He's asked to sit on the toilet a few times too which is good. We bought him some undies, which he was really excited about choosing in the shop, and he's had a full day in undies with a few accidents but at least he's learning about it all. He really is growing up so amazingly quickly.

His talking is AMAZING and progressing heaps all the time. His sentences are getting longer too which is really cool, he constructs them very carefully and corrects himself if he gets words around the wrong way. So cute and clever.

He's just had a really lovely time with Granddad Kevin and Jenny staying - sooooo great that it could happen. He enjoyed it heaps (we all did!) and is talking about you guys all the time now. :)

Latest photos:
1 - Christmas day wearing a cone as a fancy new hat.
2 - Good throw!
3 - Lenni (Caelan's cousin) and rein-horse Polly bringing the pressies.
4 - Rein-horse Polly.
5 - Riding his new quad Mama and Daddy got for Christmas.
6 - Tunnel!
7 - With Daddy.
8 - The biggest spoonful of rice bubbles.
9 - Bubbles.
10 - Doing the chores.
11 - In the fancy new undies.
12 - Brush teeth time.
13 - Just about to go to bed in the new big bed for the first time.
14 - Fun with Granddad.

What a talker!

2007-12-11T15:35:00.000+13:00

He really is. Totally blows Chris and I away on a daily basis with his talking and constructing little sentences - it's amazing to watch him think about it, or get annoyed when he gets a word wrong or puts it in the wrong place. He's so clever and really uses his brain - it truly is freakin' amazing to watch. He's now using please in sentences and oh my god - it really is a magic word! One day last week he kept coming up to me while we were at home saying "Up Mama" for me to pick him up. I explained to him that he didn't need to be picked up and carried right then, I told him Mama was doing something and he was fine. There's no freakin' way I want a child that demands to be carried all the time when I've got a newborn that has no choice but to be carried. So we don't pick him up every time he wants for no reason. Well of course, him being the age he is, it got more and more urgent sounding "Up Mama", "Up Mama", "Up Mama" and quite sad sounding. I told him no and Mama was doing something and he should go and read a book or play in his room. Well that was it, the whimpering then turned into sobs and a full-blown crying. Then out he cracked, whilst looking at me with tears running down his face, in the saddest little crying cracked sobbing voice "Up please Mama". Holy moly - if that aint gonna melt your heart I dunno what is!!! Made me cry.

Well that paragraph above was written about 2 weeks ago now and he's progressed even more. He's so clever, really he is, he sentences are amazing and he thinks so much about what he wants to say before he says it. Sometimes his sentences take a while to finish cause he's thinking really hard about the next word and wants to get it right. But that's ok, we just let him finish, even though at times it's really hard and you just wanna tell him you know what he's trying to say. But we don't and we can see he feels really proud when he's finished it and we talk back and tell him how clever he is for knowing that and how well he did. So nice this age seeing all the development and changes which are huge!

Aside from another bloody cold, ear infection, throat infection and hacking cough which before clearing up has kindly developed into a different green-snotted cold, throat thing which is causing his voice to sound rather husky and horrible hacking cough. Sooooo aside from that - he's really good at the moment! hahaha

He knows there's a bubba in Mama's puku and he kisses and rubs it which is cute. He probably doesn't understand, but he'll get there, hopefully before the bubba is born!!!

On the bubba front - we had another scan today and all was good. Though something that Chris and I both thought wasn't a good sign, the bubba is head up and high up by my ribs like Caelan always was. The woman doing the scan thought it was odd that the baby would be up there when it has all the space down below. Which also was hard for her because it was tough doing the scan and finding all the bits with the bubba tucked up there. Eekkk - this is just where Caelan was the whole time and something that I'd been noticing is that I'm getting all kicks down really low this time again. So of course this made Chris and I both say "Uh oh, not a good sign" as soon as she started the scan and told us about the position and how it was odd. It is early days yet, still got 16 weeks to go before they class the baby as really breech. Soooo fingers crossed that this one doesn't play the same game, I really want a natural birth please little bubba.

Caelan and Butterscotch

2007-10-23T10:48:00.000+13:00

Caelan rides his pony every morning and he's really improving. This morning when we went for our ride, I hardly had to steady him at all, just when trotting. Otherwise he was great and is really getting the hang of it and absolutely loves it. Here are a few photos taken after his ride this morning. So cute!

Crazy kid

2007-10-18T15:16:00.000+13:00

He's sooooo full-on and crazy at the moment. Like on speed loopy doo crazy! hehe But he's also totally and utterly adorable and so freakin' cute it's just not funny. Not all the time though of course, sometimes we think - ugh will you stop screaming or just go away, far away, out of earshot and make that ugly sound and face. He totally blows us away with his talking though, yeah I know I've said this before. But he really does. He knows stuff. He knows stuff that we haven't made an effort to say a lot to him or teach him. He knows stuff just because he's clever. Tis true, I know all parents say this - but I truly don't think I'm one of "those" parents. You know the ones that talk about how their child is the cutest in the world, how their child is the most clever in the world, how their child is the best in the world - well I'm not one of "those" parents. I don't think it makes me any less of a mother - but I'm just real about my child, I can see him for what he really is. Which is of course the cutest and most clever and amazingly advanced 18 month old to have ever lived. Hahahahahahahaha

He's putting more words together now to form little sentences which is so adorable. I have to make sure to get it on video because one day when he's talking we wont think it's so amazing or so cute. I want to remember being this blown away and thinking that it's the sweetest thing I've ever heard when he says to me "No Mama" in his adorable little voice while pointing a finger at me. When we were de-boxing a new car we got in last weekend and he was waiting excitedly he came out with "Cool car!" - we hadn't even tried to teach him cool but he'd just heard it in our everyday language obviously and learned it himself. Cutie and last night while I was cooking dinner he walked in a said "Cooking. Yum! Yum! Yum! YUM!" - it's so cute. He knows so much, it really is amazing.

I'm not sure how he's going to go with a little brother or sister when the baby is born. He's a bit of a Mama's boy so no doubt he'll hate sharing and suddenly becoming seemingly less important cause this new, squeeky thing is taking up all of Mama's time. But I'm sure he'll adapt, it's not as if we've always entertained him or made sure that we're with him all the time. We made certain not to do that right from day one to encourage him to pay well alone and be confident in himself, so it's not going to completely turn his world upsidedown (we hope!!! hehe). Not sure what I'm going to do about the blog now - I think the best option is to change it's name and make it on both the kids. Cause I really can't be arsed updating two regularly!

The pregnancy is going ok - well aside from the constant morning sickness. But that's much more under control with medication cause it was going to kill me, doesn't take the nausea away completely DAMN IT, but at least I'm not vomiting all the time. Sheesh I'm just not a very good breeder. I had hideous back and pelvis pain towards the end of Caelan's pregnancy and it's already started so I'm scared of how bad it'll be when I'm big - at least I've still got the support belt for that. Have heard the baby's heartbeat twice and had the first scan earlier this week. Have to go for another one next week again because the baby is measuring two weeks smaller than it should (kinda scary and odd cause Caelan was always bigger), will see how things are next week. I'm thinking it's to do with celiac disease, cause I wasn't eating stuff I shouldn't have been for a couple of years before getting pregnant with Caelan so there was no damage to the stomach and Caelan was able to get all the correct nutrients from the food I ate and grow well. But since getting pregnant with Caelan I've been eating what I shouldn't have, this means that for the last 16 months I've been damaging my stomach and this can cause problems in growth of the baby in pregnant women and sometimes miscarriage (though I'm past the scary time for this thank god!!). The whole time I've been pregnant (and before) I've been having major stomach problems (totally different to the morning sickness) - major cramping and pain and have constantly had diarrhea - used to get this all the time before I cut out pretty much all carbs (and in effect gluten) for the triathlons and kickboxing. So it wouldn't surprise me if this is why the baby is 2 weeks smaller than it should be, so as of yesterday I've altered my diet and hope things start to improve - and grow!!

Plane Swing

2007-09-27T13:29:00.000+12:00

Talking on the phone

2007-09-27T10:48:00.000+12:00

This is pretty old - but it so damned cute! Taken at 15 months.

Lambies!!

2007-09-17T09:26:00.000+12:00

We got two little orphan lambs in the weekend - they're so cute and Caelan absolutely LOVES them. He's not too keen on holding the bottle when they're feeding for some reason though. He's always cuddling, kissing and trying to pick them up - though we're enforcing a no picking up the lambs rule. They need to be fed four times a day and Caelan loves coming out to watch them feed, I'm sure soon enough he'll enjoy holding the bottles. I think he doesn't like them pushing at it when he's holding it.

We saw other people and another kid last night! Poor Caelan must have thought that he was the only kid left in the world after so long of not seeing anyone! hehehe It's been AGES due to all this sickness. It was sooooo good!!! Caelan and George had great fun playing together - yay :)

Well here's a photo of Caelan with Met (white ewe lamb) and Code (black and white ram).

Hand, foot and mouth disease sucks!

2007-09-06T14:02:00.000+12:00

Well when Caelan got home last night, after having fun at Grandma and Grandad's, I was pretty concerned about the state of his rash. It had turned from tiny red raised dots to bigger angry looking blisters. I instantly thought it must be chicken pox - even though I hadn't seen a case of chicken pox recently (if ever actually!) but knew that the first red dots then turned into fluid filled blister like things. So first thing this morning called the Doctor cause that was a pretty drastic change in the rash, though I was pretty sure I knew what it was, but best have it confirmed by a real doctor HEHE. But I was wrong he has a pretty severe case of hand, foot and mouth disease (which apparently is often confused with chicken pox), the worst the doctor has seen and the horrid part is, there's nothing you can do about it. So wait and let it run it's course and hope we don't go crazy in the meantime - it's highly contagious so we can't go anywhere or visit anyone. Stinko. Might call Playgroup to let them know cause I'm pretty certain he must have caught it off someone there last week, he hasn't been around any other kids, so it must be from there. They might wanna tell others, or not, I dunno what's the story with this kind of thing, but I'll tell them anyway just to be safe. So he's got a cold, ear infection and hand, foot and mouth disease - poor kid.

Roll on summer!

2007-09-05T08:31:00.000+12:00

Poor Caelan's sick again, had to take him to the Doctor yesterday cause he'd had a really bad day and night before with a fever, horrible green snot clogging him up, being really, really miserable and having a horrible rash all over his body. Poor little boy! He has a horrid cold, viral infection, red dotty rash, diarrhea and a nasty ear infection (for a freakin' change!!). Though it seems like the worst of it was on Monday and Monday night (not much sleeping for the Clark household that night), yesterday he was so much happier. YAY! Hopefully all of this doesn't last too long now. He'll be contaigous for a while so we're gonna go mad cooped up in the house together - we'll have to invent some new games and do many sundances, cause it'll suck if we can't go outside.

Aside from being sick he's doing well, his talking is improving all the time. It's amazing. He has a pretty large vocabularly now which is growing every day nearly. It's so cool. Let's see if I can remember all the words he says - up, down, plane, light, more, bye, ta-ta, hello, hi, ouch, oh-oo, hot, Mama, Daddy, yummy, yucky, yum, ball, poo-poo, nappy, yeah... I'm sure there are more but I can't remember them.

We had a lovely fathers day - had a huge delicious breakfast on the deck in the sun together which was cool. Then hung out for the rest of the day having fun together. YAY! Caelan wore his new Daddy Rocks t-shirt which was super cute. Here are some pics from fathers day.

We all survived!

2007-08-27T22:08:00.000+12:00

Well we had our first real time away from each other and nobody died! I was scared I was gonna die of worry and missing my boy, but I was ok. It was pretty stressful but I live to tell the story... Chris and I went to Melbourne for three nights and Caelan had a wee holiday with Grandma and Grandad Clark - he would have loved it I'm sure. Hopefully he missed Mama and Daddy though!!! hehe

He has been horrendously clingy with me since we got back though, so I'd say he missed us. It is really frustrating and sometimes I just wanna go out to the paddock and shake my leg, then run! LOL He's really precious when going anywhere and if anyone talks to him, he attaches himself to me (if he's not already there, which usually he is) and buries his face in me. Hopefully this doesn't last too long cause I can't take him anywhere with him being ok with it. He cries and has to be attached to me at all times and if it is somewhere we've been a lot and he knows well, he still has to be attached to me at the beginning and then if he can't see me it's all on, he's screaming and thinking I've run away to Melbourne and left him. Poor boy. Poor Mama. Poor Daddy too. Short may this phase last.

He's really, really good at the moment (aside from the usual colds of course!). He's talking all the time and saying heaps of real words, it's so cute. He understands so much, possibly too much Daddy might say... tonight Caelan hit me with a piece of Lego and when I told him very firmly that we don't hit and looked at him angrily, he smiled, then looked sad and kissed me, as if to say sorry. Chris said quite quietly and fast cause it wasn't actually to Caelan - "You can hit me if I get a kiss afterwards", not thinking Caelan was even paying attention to understand or hear, he was just wanting a kiss. Well Caelan left my side, went around all the lego on the floor and walked right up to him, whacked him in the face and then gave him a kiss on the lips. Be careful what you say! HAHAHA

The cutest boy in the land.

BOO!

After shower, Mama and me have towels on our heads.

Playtime after shower.

15 month Plunket check-up

2007-07-18T13:18:00.000+12:00

We just got back and our new Plunket nurse in Clevedon is lovely and she thinks Caelan's amazing. Thought he was so clever with all his talking and stuff - of course he is. He is 13.7kg and 85cm tall - right along the 97% line. He sure is a biggun - even with all the weight he's lost with the lack of eating while being sick over the last month! Thank goodness he had extra to lose and hasn't suffered at all with it, even if he looks skinny to Chris and I now. Well that's all - just wanted to put the update and had to post this photo. It's absolutely classic!!!

Dior on the floor?!?!
What everyone (man, woman or baby) must do should you come across an unwatched Christian Dior handbag on the floor, ah it was a proud moment - 'That's my boy!' hahaha

Nurses are nasty

2007-07-17T12:04:00.000+12:00

Caelan now hates the nurse he used to love. He got his 15 month immunisations yesterday and he really doesn't like her, she tried to give him a jellybean (I know!!!! You're shocked huh? I was going to let him have a lolly!! hehe But I thought he deserved it, so the first one was going to be yesterday) - he threw it at her angrily saying "No, no, no, no!". She tried again and it got the same treatment. My poor, poor little boy. But the good news is, one ear is only slightly infected still and the other one has completely cleared up. HURRAH! He opened his hand and said "Ouch" to show her his ouch hand (before she horribly jabbed him) and she just about died, she asked what happened and how he got it. I'll just go back to Friday... Caelan and I were hanging outside, I was tidying up the deck and he was on the lawn. There was this horrible scream, when I got to him he was holding the top of the solar light crying, I asked him what happened and he turned and pointed to the rest of the light, still in the garden, and told me all about what had happened. The problem was, it was in his language, not mine. So I gathered that it must have bitten him. I gave him a cuddle, he stopped crying, I took the top of the light off him and all was happy again. He was next to the car and screamed in pain again, I went up to him and noticed his hand had blood dripping all down the fingers onto the ground. I turned it over and just about screamed in shock and then had to calmly tell him that it was ok and we'd better clean it, that it looked ouchy though. I took him inside and my god there was some blood! The light sure had bitten him - it looked like some sharp plastic had scraped a whole lot of skin off the palm of his hand. It looked hideously sore! I cleaned it, savloned and bandaged it, the whole while he was pointing at it saying ouch.

Anyway, when I saw the doctor yesterday I didn't even think to show him the hand, I thought it was fine, it wasn't infected, I'd kept cleaning it with Savlon liquid and had it covered for the first couple of days and it was now scabbing over. All good, or so I thought. Well, obviously not! It needed special cream and it needed it now, it needed to be bandaged, what did the doctor say?!? She was horrified when I told her I thought it was ok and didn't even show the doctor. Opsy. Anyway we now have special cream to be applied twice daily and it is bandaged. Whewf! So aside from having a rather relaxed mother he's doing well now! hehe

My god he's a boy. It astounds me how boys really are boys, without seeing anyone else do grotty boy things, they just do them. Last Wednesday morning after his breakfast, I was wiping his table and he did the funniest thing. He pretended to pick a scab on his knuckle and feed it to me. WTF!??! He was laughing his head off while holding it right infront of my mouth offering it to me. What a grot!!! He's never seen anyone do anything like this, but the boy brain looked at his scab and thought it would be really funny to pretend to pick it and feed it to Mama. He loved my "Eeeewwwwwww!!! Nnnoooooo! YUCK!!!" response of course and did it throughout the day numerous times. Then he offered it to Daddy when he got home and upon Chris' disgusted response he proceded to pretend to eat it himself, laughing the whole time. Funny, funny little boy!

Me and Mama on her birthday.

Some photos

2007-07-11T13:26:00.000+12:00

Having lunch with George.

Looking super cute in my awesome cardie Grandma knitted.

Patting Maddy.

Wow! What's this? I can see myself in it.

How messy can a little boy and a bowl of yoghurt get? Pretty damned messy!!

Playin in da mud!

2007-07-05T16:54:00.000+12:00

This was taken on Tuesday while we were outside stomping in the puddles and getting VERY muddy. Ah it's good to be a kid!

Oh and took him to the doctor again today, he now has a nasty ear infection in both ears. Bugger it. Ah well, that's what you get when you're a baby in winter though right? Will post more pics sometime soon when I have more time and patience to deal with this damned dial-up speed and constantly getting kicked offline. Bye!

Running, talking little boy

2007-07-02T10:51:00.000+12:00

He really is just that - he runs just about everywhere and is constantly talking and he's such a little kid. His real words now consist of Daddy, Mummy/Mama (still calls me Mummy sometimes even though I'm Mama dammit!! Hehe I think he hears other people say it and picks up on it), plane, ear, ouch, hot, dog, Toa, bye-bye, ta-ta, yummy, yucky, says ta when he wants something or is giving something to you and meows like a cat, neighs like a horse, moos, baas and barks like a dog (well kinda - the barking is still a funny closed mouth bark!).

He's been sick for a while - a couple of weeks now. This horrible cold has gone from a blocked up, runny-nose normal cold to a chest infection. Yep he has bronchiolitis again - look the poor little guy to the doctor on Friday as he'd gotten my horrible wheezy cough and he was given some medication to clear up the blockages to ensure that it doesn't turn into an ear infection again. My ears had been blocked and sore for days so I was worried that as he'd gotten the horrid cough his ears could feel like mine and then get infected and lord knows we don't want another freakin' ear infection! Had to go back today for the checkup and he's been put on some ventolin as he's very, very wheezy. We're hoping like hell it's just due to the bronchiolitis and doesn't turn into fulltime asthma like Chris'.

So aside from normal winter illnesses he's doing so well and always astounds us with his gorgeousness and intelligence! The other night he sang along to an ad in tune - Chris and I just about shat ourselves! He's a genius!!! hehe As I'm sure all parents say.

He loves living on the farm

2007-05-21T16:30:00.001+12:00

Caelan's so great and really enjoying living out here. He loves the horses and absolutely loves pointing and waving to the planes - it's so cute he says plane and points or waves at them. He's got cold at the moment, just getting used to the much colder house - but he'll be fine. He's really good on his feet now and runs excitedly - so very cute to see. He was running around heaps at CJ's new place - must be because it's HUGE and has big wide open spaces - made him run everywhere. Well this is really just a quick update to post some of the latest pics before he wakes up.

From walking to running

2007-04-14T20:30:00.000+12:00

Just like that! He's now running around flapping his arms wildly - it's so damned cute!! He's also taken to picking toys and things up and walking around with them, thinking he's really important. It's adorable. He's adorable. That's all really, that's all I came on to say. Probably wont be posting for quite a while with the big move coming up, we'll be busy packing, cleaning and sorting out the new place. Not sure when the comptuer will be set up there either cause we wont even have an office or spare room till we converted the shed into one. Will try to post before we move though - even if it's just some latest pics. Ta ta - bed calls, I'm buggered from scrubbing the filthy new place all day.

1 year old little boy

2007-04-08T15:03:00.000+12:00

Watch the video above!!! You just HAVE to! Really you do.

What a lovely birthday Caelan had! It started with us taking him to Jansens petshop after breakfast to look at all the animals - which he always loves, well apart from the huge blue tongued lizards! He thought they were disgusting. He was watching them and copying their tongue inny-outty motions while shaking his head no cause he didn't like them. Very funny. Chris and I were soooooooo tired from being up till 2am making his cake. But my lord it was worth it! It was THE BEST cat cake in the world, we did very well. Of course it had to be a cat cake cause they're his favourite thing ever. He loved it and loved having cake for the first time too. His birthday party was at 3pm and it was sooooo great. He was spoiled silly and loved it. He stole the show with his walking as we'd kept it quiet for a few days cause we wanted everyone to find out when he did it on the day. Twas super cool. He's fully into it now and walking all over the place. It's so awesome! Oh and Caelan said "bye" today, and something that never usually happens - he did it while I was videoing him. Yay! I was about to stop videoing so I said bye and waved to him and he said it back and waved. Our clever little boy.

Still not walking

2007-03-22T14:48:00.000+12:00

Everything's going really well with our soon to be one year old. He's still happily barking when you ask him what dogs do, he's now started meowing as well which is super cute. And kisses pictures of cats in books - well they are his favourite! hehe Thankfully the screaming NNNOOOOOOOO when he's told no has stopped, didn't like that at all! He's still not walking, just the 4 or so unaided steps that he'll do between Chris and I, which he's been doing for a while. We thought he'd definitely be walking before he turns one, but now it's not seeming so. Even though he's been walking around the furniture and walls etc. since 9 months and walking holding our hands for yonks before that - ah well, you never can predict these things huh? He absolutely LOVES walking and running around behind his trolley, his favourite game is to chase Toa around - so cute!! They play so well together, is gorgeous to watch. They're becoming closer friends every day - gonna be best of friends soon and always together I'm sure. There's probably way more to update on but I just can't think of it right now sorry!

Here are some of the latest photos:
1. Making playdough for the first time, so much fun!
2. Chasing Toa.
3. All tangled in the mosquito net and really hot!

What a great weekend

2007-03-05T10:34:00.000+13:00

It was soooo lovely! :) The three of us went out to dinner on Saturday night, to a "real" restaurant. We'd taken him to cafes and the like before but never a real restaurant. Soooo we did and he was just the best :) We went to MKOP in Mission Bay and he had a great time watching all the people and action outside on the footpath below. It's his favourite restaurant now! haha He had a seafood pasta and really loved it, which made me happy (I so don't want him to be a fussy eater like me). It had mussels, scallops, squid rings and all sorts of horrid seafood (well to me anyway!) but he gobbled it all up and really enjoyed it. Yay for him! He also had some of my chicken dish and Chris' duck - loved both of them too. He was so well behaved, drinking his glass of water nicely and not getting food all over his good clothes :) He had a really good time and was so happy. It was awesome! After dinner we wandered down the road to get some frozen yoghurt waffle cones for dessert, really slowly! Caelan walked in between us - everyone eating out on the footpath stopped to watch - it really was VERY cute! Then it was over the road to the park where Katchafire were playing. Caelan was in his element - real, live, loud music to dance to. He loved dancing with the thousands in the park! It was a cute, cute sight - this little bubba dancing in amongst all the big people. Everyone around thought it was gorgeous too - of course! hehe I really wish I had the video camera with us cause it was just adorable. Didn't even have the still camera dammit!

Yesterday was the annual Childrens Day and to celebrate our one we took him to The Teddybears Picnic. It was a really fun day, he took the bear that Grandma made and off we went with our picnic. So many kids and their teddybears all picnicing together - I've never seen that many teddybears in one place! There were heaps of activities for kids like face painting, bouncy castles, rides, games, shows, heaps of stuff happening all day. It was good fun to sit there amongst it all. Caelan's friends Lily, George and Finn met us there too - lotsa fun for all.

Caelan's talking is getting really good now. Over the last couple of days he's "saying" a lot more and really copying everything we say. And we've just noticed in the last few days that he's now saying ta when he wants something and thankyou when he gets it - though the thankyou isn't said properly, it's just copying the sound the word makes but we can tell everytime he does it that it's definitely thankyou. VERY CUTE!!! So along with his "yum" when he's eating something he likes and the others that he's been doing a while we're getting there! Oh and he sometimes will bark when you ask him what dogs do - though this is very hit and miss! And the barks aren't real bark sounds they're done through a closed mouth cause I don't think he's worked out how to do them properly. Still it's pretty damned clever. Oh and another new thing is he will sniff something when you tell him to smell it. It's very funny.

Nearly a year old!!

2007-02-28T09:41:00.000+13:00

Holy gamolies!!! We'll be having a 1st birthday party soon. It's nearly been a year since we went into the hospital knowing that our little bubba would be bought into the world. Really doesn't seem like a year ago.

Well it's been a while since I last posted huh? Sorry loyal watchers! hahaha Right - well we still have no walking but we know he stays on these stages a while. He's very fast on his feet and walks everywhere using anything as support. He stands unsupported every now and then for quite a while so the balance is definitely getting better but really no further along since the last post. The main thing to write here is that the sleeping has improved!!! Wahooooooooo! He's back to sleeping through the night again and it's consistently - thank the lord! That was a hideous five months of night-waking. Dunno what started it but it definitely turned into a habit, that was worsened by colds, ear infections, stomach bugs, ear infections, colds, ear infections and ear infections. Soooooo after a long run we're all fixed up. HORRAY! He's due for his next immunisations and I've been putting it off cause I don't wanna wreck the niceness we're having. hehe But I'd better take him next week.

Caelan's such a dancer, just the hint of music and he's dancing away. It's adorable and real funny, he'll dance to Daddy's raps, he dances to Mama's silly songs, dances to ads on TV, dances to his piano, absolutely everything. So cute. He's absolutely LOVING his piano! We got the best deal in the world - were at K-Mart and there was an announcement about a 5 minute sale of damaged goods so we went for a nosy and there was the Fisher-Price Baby Grand Piano which had a sticker on it saying keys 4 & 8 don't work. We had a play with it and it turned itself off every now and then but we decided to get it anyway, Chris said he could try to fix it, it was originally $135.00 and we got it for $5! Yep $5!!! The first thing we did once home was get some new batteries and VOILA just like new! The silly buggers in the shop hadn't even tried that, it was just flat batteries. So we have a wonderful new expensive toy that Caelan LOVES for $5. Best $5 we've every spent. It's so awesome, it has heaps of different songs and sounds and things to play with, it has songsheets to teach them how to play the songs and all sorts. Just the bestest.

Hhhmmmm what else... he has nearly 6 teeth now. I say nearly cause one is only just coming out but it's definitely on it's way. Oh and last night he was super cute - well he's always super cute but last night he did something that really surprised us. He'd gotten hold of some paper and ripped it into a million pieces, no that's not the surprising bit! I was going around picking all the bits up and putting them into his empty dinner bowl so I could take it all into the kitchen, when I got to where he was standing at the coffee table holding some bits he just put his in the bowl for me. It was sooo cute and nearly bought a tear to my eye. hehe He then picked up the next bit and put it in the bowl for me. What a good, good little boy! We've never gotten him to do this before so don't know where it came from. I didn't even think he was watching me do it, I thought he was just playing with the bits he had. He's so lovley :) It must come from putting his toys away in the toybox - we got a new toybox for in the lounge, it's a seagrass chest with a lid which lives under the sidetable. Beats putting them away all the time and then getting them out again! When it's playtime I pull the chest out from under the table and he opens it and gets his toys out to play with, he put's them away again when it's sleeptime. So I'm just guessing the rubbish thing came from that. Or he's just an incredibly intelligent boy - I think that's what it is! :)

PS. I just had to add this after I finished. OH MY GOD CAELAN'S CUTE!!!! He's awake now and I've got him in the office with me, I opened the last photo (below) to show him and he grinned and waved to himself. Soooo cute! Over n' out.

Hanging out on my armchair.

Yum!

See ya!

Out having sushi for lunch - yummy.

War wounds.

Well the one under my eye is from a nasty bit of concrete that jumped up and hit me in the face! Aaaand the one on my cheek is from this evil, scary bedside cabinet that attacked me.

Just photos for now

2007-01-31T16:53:00.000+13:00

Just the cutest! That's what I get told allll the time anyway :)

Say CHEESE.

Mama bakes reeeeally BIG cookies!

Don't worry - I can do it.

Hhmmmm, what is this stuff? Can I eat it?

Yeah why not.

That stuff's crunchy!! And not very yummy.

Cool - sand castles.

Gonna get it! Gonna get it!

Daddy dug me a hole and built castles all around me. I destroyed them! FUN!!!

Cooling down In the back yard in a cold bath on a VERY hot day.

Our lump

2007-01-17T09:05:00.000+13:00

We went to Plunket yesterday for Caelan's 8-10 month check-up but couldn't do it so he just got weighed. He was 11.5kg and 74cm long. Though we're not certain cause he was too tall for the scales and kept putting his feet on the bench and taking weight off the scales! And he wouldn't keep still while doing his length, little worm kept rolling over and trying to crawl away. The nurse and I decided to give up and guess at it based on what got! At Ascot Hospital at the beginning of his ear infections, their scales said he was 12kg but we know he's lost weight in the last month from not eating with the ear infections. The doctors and our home scales say he's 12kg or just under but I don't think he's 12kg anymore (feels lighter and not as bulky), I think he's probably somewhere between 11.5kg and 12kg.

He's so funny with his clapping, yesterday some people on TV started clapping and he clapped with them - real cute! Also as soon as you start singing "If you're happy and you know it..." he claps when you get to the "clap your hands" bit. Oh AND he's got a toy that says "Bye bye" when it hasn't been touched in a while and yesterday when it said it and I copied (which I always do), Caelan waved. Real cute! Our clever, funny little clapping waver.

There're many annoying things about him now being mobile, as well as many great things, but one of the best things is being able to call him and he comes! I'm sure walking's not too far away - he's up and walking around holding onto everything all the time. Climbed up and was standing against Toa this morning, the bummer is that dogs move! hahaha There was a tumble and a few tears but he wasn't hurt at all, just shocked.

What's new with Mr Poo?

2007-01-15T13:47:00.000+13:00

Well he's still got ear infections and that's definitely getting old now!! It's been pretty hard for all of us for a while and due to that I haven't been in the right frame of mind to post anything. And even if I could it would have just been crying and swearing - doesn't make for nice reading! But things aren't so bad at the moment so I thought I'd better update on our gorgeous boy. The bastard ear infections - we had to go to the doctor again at the beginning of last week as he'd gotten worse and had a fever again. Got given a double strength version of one of the first antibiotics he had but by the end of the week he was still visibly sore. So back to the doctor and sure enough infections were still angry, after being on antibiotics since before Christmas and it not doing anything he's been taken off. This makes me a bit happier as I didn't like all that crap being shoved into him for no reason. Sure if it does something I believe antibiotics have their place, but when they're not working it can't be good for you. Especially a little baby. He's scheduled to have hearing tests in February as there's a risk that there'll be permanant damage to his hearing, or speech problems due to not being able to hear properly while his speech is developing. So at this stage we're playing the waiting game and hoping the infection clears up on it's own.

He had his first fall while standing today, he'd pulled himself up against the coffee table while I was getting his lunch ready in the kitchen. He fell and banged his cheek on the corner while falling - poor little boy screamed his heart out and now has a bruise on his cheek. But he's ok - I'm sure there'll be many more accidents now that he's wanting to get up and about. Oh and he's started clapping all the time and thinks it's just so much fun. He waves more now too - not all the time still but it's definitely better than the odd time he was doing it. It's about one out of 3-5 times he'll wave back - sometimes he'll just clap instead! hahaha His favourite game of the moment is chasing his beach ball around the house. He'll whack it with his hand and then chase it giggling his head off - he and the ball end up all over the place, it's really cute. He's climbing up on everything at the moment - us, the stairs (gulp, have to get that gate up tonight!), the couches, the coffee table, the dog, absolutely anything - he'll crawl up to it and use it so he can stand. Oh and for ages we've been saying we need to put his cot down to the next level but due to colds, ear infections, christmas, new year and being slack we hadn't. Well on Saturday afternoon I went in to get him after his nap and hearing him shouting out to us, I found him standing there grinning at me. Holy shit - I nearly died!!! Needless to say Chris put it down while I fed him. Whew!!! Luckily we didn't find him on the floor on his head screaming.

Yesterday we decided to get out as cabin fever was threatening to kill us. We took Caelan to Mission Bay for a picnic dinner of roast chicken and chips. Caelan experienced junk food for the first time - he had a few hot chips and thought they were pretty damned good. I sucked off all the salt before giving it to him and felt ok about it as they weren't greasy at all. But I was so worried that we looked like "those" parents!!! hehe After dinner we were gonna have a little play on the sand and make sand castles but Caelan wasn't feeling the best so we came home, he wasn't interested in playing at all and just cried. His ears must have been sore because the first half of the nights sleeping was shit. Poor little guy was trying to pull his ears off while he cried. Please ear infections go and bring back the full nights sleep!

He's such a good boy though - we've had a breakthrough with the "no" word. He understands and has learned. We decided not to change our house in any way, everything is exactly as it is before he could move. We decided that he needed to learn anyway and it seemed silly to alter the whole house when babies need to learn boundaries at some stage. So that's what we've been doing. The stereo used to be his favourite place, he'd always end up there pulling all the CDs out. Great fun he thought. Well after much persistent and patient no-ing he's learned that he's not allowed to go there and doesn't even bother anymore. It went from always going there and having to say no and actually move him, to him always going there and having to say no and him stop touching, to going towards there and when you say no turning around, now he will look sometimes and remember so not go. What a good little boy! He hasn't been hear the stereo in ages. Brilliant! He doesn't pull the books out of the bookcase anymore either. Oh he's so good!!!

Such a little angel.

Playing with my ball on a hot day. What ginger hair?!?!?!?!

Stay still dog - I'm going over!

Grotty little boy.

Yummy! Chips are good.

ARGH

2007-01-06T10:45:00.000+13:00

Spoke too soon again! Caelan didn't seem quite right yesterday, but in the morning I put it down to tiredness, then he was worse in the afternoon. Really upset, couldn't be put down and was in pain. Took his temperature and he had a fever again, it was all too familiar now... Soooo off to the doctor we went and sure enough - both ears had gotten worse again and he was running a fever. Poor little thing. We have stronger antibiotics and more paracetamol - he's gonna be addicted to the stuff soon!! Last night was pretty yucky again - all three of us are sooooo sick of ear infections now as we're into our 3rd week of the same ones! The doctor said that he's seeming like he's going to be a problem ear boy and it "usually, hopefully" gets better by the time they start school but it can go on from there. JOY! He could be fine but he just told us that to prepare ourselves as he said it's not looking good so far. Neato.

A new year

2007-01-05T12:31:00.000+13:00

Well Caelan's nearly 9 months old and what a fantastic, trying, awesome, heart-breaking, fun, upsetting, wonderful and hard 9 months it's been! We say goodbye to 2006 and look forward to whatever 2007 throws our way. Our little boy is just amazing. He's been through some shit, my god he's been through some shit!! But he's still such a happy, good natured, fun baby (most times!) - he just the best. He seems to be over the ear infections that plagued christmas and new year ending in burst, bleeding drums - poor wee thing, but he's good now. He's a real little trooper! The Dr was amazed that Caelan wasn't screaming his head off constantly after he looked in his ears, I told him that he definitely had been throughout the sickness! hehe But he's tough, our boy. Another course of antibiotics and he's definitely on the mend now. He's booked in for some testing in 6 months to check hearing etc after such a yucky time with it. I hope it's all ok, no point worrying about it till we know for sure so I'll just forget about it till then. :) Needless to say after taking him to check his ears before going away for New Years and discovering they were worse - we didn't go. So Christmas and New Years just didn't happen this year as planned, but I'd say we'll have to get used to things not going to plan. We have a child now! hehe

Well Caelan's all over the show these days, we never know where he is cause he's crawling everywhere. He's started trying to pull himself up on things but hasn't quite mastered that yet. He's fine holding himself up against things and walking around carefully holding on - but I think he thinks he can do it all and just lets go. Funny boy! He closes his eyes real tight when he realises he's gonna fall and waits for the impact. It's so cute. Oh and he run real fast!! When we hold his fingers he loves to run everwhere fast - it's sooooo cute!

His vocabulary his HUGE! He prattles in his own laguage constantly and makes real sentance sounding things - though of course nobody but him can understand them! He knows Mama is me and Dada is Chris and he can say water and cat - though quite odd sounding! But he knows what he's saying and what they are so that's pretty cool. He tries to say dog as well but it just comes out as da - not really there yet!

He's way more cuddly now since getting the ear infection - it's soooo lovely. Shivers gotta go, he's awake and needs tending to!

Merry?? christmas

2006-12-27T10:04:00.000+13:00

What a first christmas!!!! Caelan's been sick with a yucky cold for a couple of weeks now and it all got much worse last Thursday night - he literally didn't sleep all night. It was horrible. He was in really upset and seemed to be in so much pain and nothing could help him, we just held him while he cried all night. At 3:30am I told Chris to go into the spare room to try and get some sleep cause he was working the next day. He felt really horrible leaving us but did, otherwise he just couldn't have coped on Friday. He got a couple of hours sleep while I sat with poor Caelan and at 6am he came and took the crier for while so I could have a break before he left for work. What a looong hard day for all of us! Poor wee one finally went to sleep at about lunchtime. We had Chris' family chirstmas dinner at our place that night so I had lots of cooking and stuff to do - dunno how I did it?! Auto-pilot's a great thing - it got both Chris and I through the day. It was a lovely night, even though we were zombies - sorry everyone!! But we both really enjoyed it, it was nice to do something normal and hang with family. The nice evening was followed by another yucky night, though nowhere near as bad as the night before, probably due to exhaustion of the short person! While Chris was at work on Saturday (the world just isn't a fair place is it?!?!?) Caelan got worse and was burning up, he continued to get worse so we took him to Ascot Hospital A & E in the afternoon to discover VERY, VERY angry infections in both ears. Poor boy! We left with antibiotics, paracetamol and a temperature of 39 that we needed to get down. So christmas was cancelled this year, he was just too sick. We couldn't go up north to spend christmas with my family - bums, I really wanted him to spend christmas with his 96 year old Great Grandma. Ah well, shit happens! It's been a blur of sleepless nights and a mostly unhappy bubba. Bit sad for his first christmas but there'll be many more and we'll make up for it next year, when he's old enough to really enjoy it. So Merry Christmas - I don't bloody think so! hehe Nah, seriously though, it's been ok - he's heaps better now and we were together, that's all that matters really!

6am christmas morning - Mama and Daddy sure were excited!

Underwater bubs

2006-12-19T08:48:00.000+13:00

George and Caelan at swimming on Saturday.

He crawls! He crawls!

2006-12-15T10:22:00.000+13:00

This morning he actually crawled and it wasn't just one or two steps before flopping onto his belly like he has been doing. This was real crawling, though it was pretty damned jerky and stompy looking but it was crawling none the less. I was sitting on the floor wrapping pressies for his cousins and he really, really, really wanted to come over and check them out. 'Well I'll just crawl then' he musta thought and crawl he did. He went for a good little distance too - about the length of my whole leg from toes to hips. Then I made him do it again. Just to make sure! hahaha So FINALLY he crawls. Gawd it's bin a long time coming, just went through posts to see when it all started. He was getting up onto his knees at nearly 4 months and then doing the rock and going backwards at 6 months and now actually crawling at 8 months. That's 2 months to get to the next stage each time - crickey that's a long time huh?!! LOL But he crawls :)

Saved our sleep

2006-12-10T09:47:00.000+13:00

The following post was written yesterday (Sat 09.12.06) but Blogger didn't want to know about it (think it was down). Yesterday was soooo much better! We might just be damned close to breaking this habit by gum. He was a delight - went to sleep immediately as soon as I put him in bed for his first sleep yesterday, without a peep I tell ya! Second sleep he talked to himself for a wee while and then went to sleep - no crying, no screaming, no fuss! At bedtime last night he cried for less than a minute and then to sleep. HOLY GAMOLY!! This is freakin marvellous and totally thrills us. Horray. It's been hard but Tizzy, we love you. So it's back to being strict again and sticking to his routine and really enforcing things we'd decided were important to us right at the beginning which we'd been letting go if they didn't happen. I think we'd gonna a bit too comfortable and secure and thought "We've done so well, our baby is great and sleeps wonderfully" and let things slide a little and just let things happen that we weren't entirely happy with but though 'Oh he'll be right'. Well we learnt the hard way that he wont be right! So at 8 months and 2 days old we dont wanna chuck him away!! It was a different story when he was just 8 months old. hehehe

UPDATE (written today - Sunday 10.12.06): Last night was a bit yucky on the sleeping front. We went out to a christmas dinner and called Chris' parents at 11pm to see if everything was ok and whether they'd be ok with us being out another hour. Well the wee one had been screaming for about half an hour, so we came home and as soon as I heard the screams I knew something was up. It wasn't his usual 'I'M A POOBUM' screaming, it was really frantic and definitely sounding like the 'HELP ME! SOMETHING'S WRONG!' screaming. So I rushed up and found him on his tummy, trapped in his cot. Poor wee thing! Silly boy, don't know how he did this cause he sleeps in a sleeping bag at night to avoid it, and up until this point it's stopped him from being able to. Bummer, so now he can and we have to watch for this in the night sleeps as well as the day. Dammit. It took quite a long time to calm and fall asleep but I got to sleep at 1:30am to be woken by the little snot at 5am - he screamed for about 45 minutes but fell asleep. Horray! We're all mighty tired here today but it's a pretty normal feeling thanks to our gorgeous little boy.

He's soooooo active these days. All over the show and getting places pretty damned quickly and LOVING being able to do this. Though still no real crawling but by jingos he's pretty damned mobile all the same! It's feeling like crawling is gonna happen soon - though we've thought that since he first got up on his knees at about 4 months! haha And then again when he started rocking and going backwards at 6 months! haha So who knows when he'll crawl really.

We've got a BBQ with all his friends from coffee group this afternoon. That'll be heapsa fun! Must remember to take the camera. Right - off to have a wee relax with my green tea and husband before he wakes.

He is actually getting worse

2006-12-07T15:01:00.000+13:00

Today has been hell. He's screamed heaps before each bedtime - he's only just gone to sleep and I put him into bed at 1:13pm - it's now 3:02pm. He throws himself about so much during these screaming marathons that he ends up trapped face-down in his cot with his legs jammed in the bars and sounds like he's dying. Today has been horrendous and really hard. Freakin Tizzy should come here and try to fix this one before we chuck it away! He's happy when he's awake though so it's not anything other than a sleep/self-settling/putting himself to sleep problem - well that's what we think anyway. But there's no way of being sure - it's all just hit and miss with these wee things that don't tell ya. Because he gets trapped I have to pick him up, then as he's so frantic I hold him till the screams are at a normal level, then it's back in the cot to scream some more while I pat him. It's certainly not getting anywhere this Save our Sleep thing we're trying (well apart from the night-waking which seem to be improving). So at this rate, tomorrow he wont sleep at all, he'll just scream when he's supposed to be sleeping and then feed, play scream again. Awesome.

SAVE OUR SLEEP!!!

2006-12-07T10:03:00.000+13:00

Since last Friday we've been trying a new way of dealing with this damned night waking. A friend lent us a book last Friday entitled "Save our sleep" - as you can imagine after this hideous last month or so of hardly any sleep I just about jumped on her when she offered it. The title sold it for me, no doubt the case for millions of sleep-deprived parents all over the world. We don't know why he started this horrid waking but it definitely turned into a habit - one that we're now incredibly desperate to break. Tizzy Hall's (the author) approach is to leave them for a minimum of 18 minutes (for a baby of his age), if they're still crying at the end of that time and you can handle leaving them then do so for as long as you can handle it, as they will eventually go to sleep. This teaches them to self-settle and put themselves to sleep, or reteaches if for some reason they don't anymore.

So he woke at 1am and we left him screaming. Sheesh, talk about hard at that time of the morning, he was screaming at me about how horrible I am and how sad and scared he was - it was killing me inside. He screamed for an hour and a half at full throttle before I couldn't handle it anymore. I was waiting for the calmer cries or the breaks in screams... where the hell are the calmer cried or the freakin breaks in screams?!!?!?! Somehow Chris had managed to fall asleep... WTF?!? ...and was snoring next to me. Oh neat, as if the screaming wasn't bad enough we'll just add some snoring to the mix. GOOD LORD. It was a hard night.

I couldn't do it anymore than that though, and had to go in. Tizzy recommends going in and calming your baby, don't pick them up though, you calm them by patting (or whatever works for yours). So there I was in the middle of the night, sitting naked on the floor next to Caelan's cot, patting this out of control frantic little boy, it was really sad. But eventually he calmed, when they stop crying you take your hand away, if they start again you comfort, anyway you go through this until you no longer need to pat them, then you sit there until they fall asleep, he was looking at me for ages and slowly I hid so he couldn't see me as I didn't want him to fall asleep looking at me cause I just think that's creating another problem. When he was asleep I went out. Lordy, lordy, lordy what a long exercise.

The night waking is definitely getting better - last night he didn't wake at all (though the getting to sleep initially was another story so he was probably just exhausted from the marathon crying session earlier!). The night before only woke once and cried, didn't scream, for about 10 minutes before settling himself back to sleep. The night before that he let rip for about 45 minutes and Chris ended up going in to calm him. But there are definitely improvements in the night-waking - it's not over yet but tis better. The going to sleep is DREADFUL though! He just screams and screams and screams and screams and screams oh and screams and then screams some more - he doesn't do any of the winding down to calmer cries, there are no bloody breaks in the scream!! Lying Tizzy!!! The night before last he screamed for about an hour 15 mins before I just had to go in and calm him. Last night he was having a bloody good go and Chris came upstairs to put some washing away and caved - he went in quite soon and completely forgot everything we'd decided to do. He picked him up and tried to calm him, then put him back in and left. This technique say's when you go in to calm them, do just that and don't leave till they're asleep as she views the leaving again as teasing them and thinks they can get even more worked up and upset if you do that. If they don't calm in 46 minutes (these time frames are bloody weird!!) and you need a break, you get the baby up and go out for a break of 10 minutes. Then put them back to bed and start the 18 minute crying thing from there. If you can keep going and trying to calm them, then you don't have a break and you keep going till they're asleep.

But in amongst all the yuck feelings you get from it and sleep-deprivation Chris just went in and did that and then left. Caelan go super duper freakin worked up then, really didn't think it was possible but he proved it was. So we got him up and gave him some paracetamol, sat him up for the 20 mins for that to take effect and then back to bed. He went straight to sleep from exhaustion the poor thing! But consistency is the key with all of these things, no matter what you've decided you're doing you need to stick to it. Chris felt horrible afterwards and didn't know why he did it, he just couldn't listen to it anymore and had to go in. Poor thing! It's so hard though, when we decided we would do this we decided that we really need to support eachother and in times when I've found it really hard and nearly caved Chris has told me not to and that we have to leave him. When one weakens the other keeps it together and on track - but he didn't even talk to me about last night the silly bum. He went up to put washing away, I was in the kitchen and then he never came back. Opsy. Poor Chris. Poor me. Poor Caelan. Hope it works soon. He's such a damned determined screamer though - apparently most babies have broken the habit and can settle themselves to sleep without any fuss. Mutter, mutter, mumble, mumble... ours is broken!!!

The book worked for the friends baby in 3 days, she's lent it to two other friends and it worked after one night and the other after four nights. Well screw them too! hehe

Photos

2006-12-05T10:34:00.000+13:00

Sure I'll sit here for a photo Mummy.

Hhhmmm... what's in here?

Ops! BUSTED!

Latest photos

2006-12-01T14:28:00.000+13:00

Hanging out with Uncle Vincent when him and Granddad visited from Australia.

Getting ready for summer.

His first real accident

2006-11-30T10:18:00.000+13:00

That bastard of a dangerous highchair finally did it! This morning just after breakfast while I was putting Caelan's bowl in the sink I heard a horrible BANG THUD, followed by blood curdling screaming and crying. God I nearly died when I turned and didn't see Caelan or his highchair. I was there before I could think and found him still in the seat and table part of the chair on it's side on the floor. It had all fallen off the legs. I couldn't undo the lock as he had been really jammed against it in the fall and the table part had gone up too far in the opposite direction. I was so scared and just wanted to get him out and cuddle him but couldn't. It was sooooo frustrating! He was screaming the whole time and not moving - I was terrified things were broken, it looked like his arm was broken as it was jammed under the seat in a horrid position. I had to push him a bit and then finally was able to undo the lock and pull him out. My poor, poor little boy! I held him so tight and bawled my head off while saying "Sorry" over and over and over. Nothing was broken and when he finally calmed he was fine. His arm that was jammed was pretty red and swollen looking, had a red bit above one eye and the bottom leg was pretty red. It could have been so much worse, I'm so glad he's ok. Bastard highchair! It's lucky that it's raining today, otherwise there may have been a burning in the backyard! hahaha

Aside from that he's still a poobum! hehe Last night involved lots of crying and way more awake time than necessary in the middle of the night again. He's nearly lost his voice from all the screaming lately, it's all husky sounding and disappears when he's "talking". It wasn't as bad as the night before so hopefully tonight will be even better.

Argh the sleepless nights!

2006-11-29T09:35:00.000+13:00

Surely this aint supposed to be happening again at nearly 8 months old... surely. Mummy and Daddy think so anyway!! He's been waking heaps at night and last night was absolute HELL with a completely inconsolable Caelan for most of the night from 2am to nearly 7am. ARRGGHHHHHH!!! Needless to say all three of us are totally buggered and incredibly grumpy today. Caelan's just gone down for a nap after a 40 minute screaming session, no doubt due to feeling so horrible and tired from the sleepless night. Didn't eat lunch cause it was all too hard - poor wee guy screamed as if it was the worst thing imaginable, sheesh it was only kumara. God I wish I could just chuck a fit like that - I'm sure I feel just as bad as him too now. I'm sure Chris wishes he could chuck a fit at work today too - poor thing. Please lord let tonight be better.

Such a big boy

2006-11-14T15:02:00.000+13:00

Caelan's just not a baby anymore, before we know it he'll be moving out of home! hehe We went to Plunket on Thursday and he's now weighing in at a hefty 10.3kg. Not as heavy as we thought he'd be though which is good!

All is well in the Clark household... We had a great weekend, with swimming on Saturday followed by sushi and mango frappucino afterwards for lunch. He just LOOOVES sushi and thinks mango frappucino is the best thing in the entire world, even better than Mummy and Daddy I'm sure! On Sunday we left the house at 8:30am and were out pretty much all day, getting home in the afternoon and Caelan was such a good boy. He had a wee 30 minute power-nap at Tanya's house and that did him for the whole day - what a star!! It was a huge day for him at the Avondale markets, then to visit Tanya's and off to the Dogue de Bordeaux breeder to visit all the doggies. He loved seeing more Toa's and squeeled and giggled at them.

Playing in my brand new Exersaucer that Grandma and Granddad got me - I'm so lucky!!

Well it is Movember!

Laughing baby

2006-11-07T15:27:00.000+13:00

He's 7 months old today and totally adorable! Click on the arrow in the middle of the pic below to make Caelan giggle! :)

Marmite monster

2006-11-07T15:16:00.000+13:00

Scott took these photos while we were at his and CJ's place on Saturday for a BBQ. Caelan had a great time as you can see!

"I'll get your nose CJ! I'm gonna eat it! Now I'll get your tongue!"

Only reverse works

2006-11-06T10:35:00.000+13:00

There's no going forward yet - he's still getting up on his hands and knees and rocking but that's about the extent of his crawling so far. He's just going backwards everywhere - I'm sure he'll find first gear soon. Then of course he just wont stop!

There was no swimming on Saturday so it was nice being able to just chill out and finally we could do something on Saturday evening/night! HORRAY! We usually can't do anything on a Saturday because he's already missed a sleep at swimming and all hell would break loose if he missed another one. Soooo the three of us went to friends for a BBQ - lovely jubbly (thanks CJ!).

Well it's feeding time so I'm off.

Can someone PLEASE deal to this lawn?!

Still only two teefs

2006-11-01T14:41:00.000+13:00

He doesn't have any more than the original two but lordy, lordy the dribbling is still horrendous. I'm pretty sure we'll see some more soon. He's not as miserable with it either which is great - he's generally pretty happy, is a little more grizzly than usual but all in all pretty damned good. At least he's happy again - I hate it when he's not.

We FINALLY put his new carseat in the car on the weekend! About time, he'd been using his capsule all this time - yep we're bad parents. hahaha He loves the new seat, he really enjoys being upright and being able to see.

We just had a visit from Maria and George which Caelan loved, he thought Maria was heapsa fun! It's really nice to see him interacting with other babies.

We have a grumpy one

2006-10-27T09:09:00.000+13:00

Caelan's been really grizzly and unhappy for the past couple of days. Not sure what's up - we're thinking maybe more teeth (god help me! Ouch). He's been rubbing his ears a lot again and crying a lot for seemingly no reason and not being able to be calmed. Poor wee thing. When he's not crying he seems sad, not really interested in toys or us, just stares off into nothingness looking unhappy - there are none of the gorgeous smiles and no chuckling or squeeling laughter. Hope he comes right soon - I miss my boy! Yesterday he wasn't interested in feeding, completely missed his 3pm feed - just bit and screamed everytime I tried to feed him. Tried a few times over the two hours he was up but nope he didn't want to know about it. He spent over an hour straight crying. Poor little guy, nothing would help so I just held him while he cried. He had his 11am feed and then the next fed wasn't till 7pm - and only for about two minutes that time before the biting and crying started again. He refused completey this morning as well - bit and cried. All we can think of is teething - or perhaps he's just having a bad couple of days for no real reason (we all know what that's like huh?). Hope he feels better soon.

Caelan and Siahn

They're nearly 4 and 2!!

Happy birthday dear Grandad

Photos

Caelan's video message from Santa

You shouldn't say that word

Diarrhea and blood, lots of it

Ice cream time in the hammock

Siahn swinging

Caelan is going to marry me and Siahn will marry Daddy...

Happy birthday message for Natalie

Bigger kidlets

Our little girl is 1 year old

Got myself a crying, talking, sleeping, WALKING living doll

Caelan is now a big 3 year old

Big kids

And she's off!

Photos

It's been a long time...

Guy Fawkes

Fuckin' reflux may be the death of me yet

She talks

Sick, sick, sick

She sits!

And the little one rolled over

The iceblock

Happy Fathers Day

Thanks Melilab!

Bloody evil reflux will be the death of us!

Vomit, jabs and Dora

Siahn photos

Today's prayer

Yawn

Siahn's 4 weeks old tomorrow

We have demon children

The kids

Siahn Anahera Clark

Best friends and the overstayer ;)

It's a tumor, it really is

Still no bubba

*yawn* What a time!

So much vomit!

2 years old today!

Birthday party madness

Nappy is for sleep time only

Photos...

YIPPEEEEE!!

He did poos in the potty! He did poos in the potty!

He woke up 32 this morning

First hair cut

Back to swimming

Big bed

Big boy in a big bed

What a talker!

Caelan and Butterscotch

Crazy kid

Plane Swing

Talking on the phone

Lambies!!

Hand, foot and mouth disease sucks!

Roll on summer!

We all survived!

15 month Plunket check-up

Nurses are nasty

Some photos

Playin in da mud!

Running, talking little boy

He loves living on the farm

From walking to running

1 year old little boy

Still not walking

What a great weekend

Nearly a year old!!

Just photos for now

Our lump

What's new with Mr Poo?

ARGH

A new year

Merry?? christmas

Underwater bubs

yawn What a time!